To drive your cubicle neighbor to madness...Follow

Well, my evil plan to drive the annoying marketing guy in the cubicle next to me insane is progressing well I think, but I need some new ideas. Here is what I am planning on doing so far:

1. Each morning before he gets in, I will move everything on his desk exactly 1 cm to the left EXCEPT his stapler. On fridays everything goes back to the right.
2. Random phone volume adjustments. There is a volume slider on the bottom of the phone that he deosn't know about. I move it slightly each morning.
3. Chair height adjustment. That and the tilt feature. Just a tiny bit each morning...
4. Computer adjustments.. This guy has annoyed our IT department to the point that they won't even come help him anymore, so no one will notice that I have his computer background set up to map to an image file on one of the netowrk drives. normally the image is that of his normal background, but every once in a while it changes briefly to a screenshot with extra fake icons, or an "open" pop up window that cannot be closed. I also adjusted his cursor blink rate to "siezure" level and turned on mouse trails in a moment of weakness. He is convinced a virus did it. (this one is already in progress)
5. I adjusted the AC duct so that it blows air just about exactly where his ear would be when he is sitting down

anyone think of anythign else? Trust me, this guy is worthy of whatever you can come up with.

Think of that one yourself Mren? Or was that exact suggestion in Kaolian's ORIGINAL ******* POST.

I would watch for any faxes that come in for him overnight and just throw them away.

Did you try giving him your top ten lists?

Kidding! They're great! Really!

/hides

My brother in law ran a program on me one time at his house that made about three hundred windows to pop up. He made me click out of every one because I didn't know the shortcut out of it. It was either push the buttons or get sat on by someone about 100lbs more than me.

1) Unplug the power on his monitor (Disconnect it from the back of the monitor if possible, but just enough to lose the connection and still make it look good)

2) Switch the mouse/keyboard plugs on the back of his computer.

3) Put rat poison in his coffee

Might get jail time for #3 though... depending on your states rules for "taking care" of annoying people.

Well, well...looks who's back?

LMAO - WB,GE

Fape, it's a little shareware program. You run it, but it waits for next keystroke to activate. Then, it also reads from hard drive so that light activates. It shuts off after a few keystrokes, so they can't prove anything, but stay worried they did something. I will see if I can find a link. Slid a diskette in, did it to my boss one morning when he went to the bathroom, took diskette with me. Then I had to go because I almost wet myself laughing when he was yelling stop at his pc.

More fun with the computer illiterate: Create a shortcut key to a tiny program with an important sounding name like one of those memory check programs and put icon in his startup menu. Delete the program the shortcut is calling, and everyday at start up he will get a windows message saying that it cannot find the memory program (insert evil laugh here). Sounds really important.

Set up a different screen saver, maybe a nice "I am an a$$hole" scrolling message, and password code it. Timing is everything. Get rid of it before IT can get to it.

Speaking of IT, if they can be bribed (usually they love home baked goods yummmm) and have access to those network tools, that take over a remote pc, you can just have no end of fun with him.

Word and Excel fun. For Excel go into Tools, Options, and turn Lotus transition keys on, and thus every / will bring up a Lotus menu, and Ctrl Home becomes Home, etc. Make his spreadsheets "manual" instead of autocalc. Word and Excel, View, Toolbar, Customize, change his toolbar, remove icons like save and bold (slowly a little change each day only and put old ones back and remove another one).

Could prop his desk up or cut pieces off his desk legs as you see fit...

Dark

Now that Glorious, is just plain evil!

Evil. You all are absolutely evil.









I LOVE IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hey, didn't Skeet post something about some guy in the next cubicle perpetually clearing his throat? That would drive me to madness.

There's always the ol' tack on the seat... Did that to my grade 7 teacher and felt bad afterwards, but might be just instant the satisfaction you need. YAY!