By: Fazzarya Aryazzaf 26th lvl Wizardess
It has come to my attention that several people who I am associated with have been ascending through the ranks of experience faster than you can say; "Fazzarya just bit it". I am afraid a trend is beginning and so have decided to write this essay in the attempt to help you all stop this successful run at Everquest before you are subjected to the boredom that is lvl 50. I do this not out of petty jealousy or envy, but out of sincere concern for everyone’s happiness (primarily my own…ahem).
I am completely aware of just how tough it can be to not die, for
several lvls I was a practitioner of this form of gaming and was getting
pretty good at it. It was then, in the halls of permafrost, that I had
an epiphany. The higher level I got, the harder the stuff became that I
had to kill. Hmmmmm…. Well if I stop going up in levels, then I never have
to fight harder stuff. WHALA!!! That was the answer to my dilemma. It was
then that I threw myself into developing a strategy for remaining at my
present state. Much time and research was put into these stratagems, and
so I can honestly say that every angle has been looked at and subjected
to intense scrutiny. If you have any doubt as to this statement just ask
and I will email the pictures of the bald spots on my head to prove it.
So without further ado….
*Strategy 1: This form of lvl retention is quite simple and easy to do, requiring very little thought or effort. When you notice that your exp bar is just a little to full for your liking simply walk into town, go up to the nearest guard, and type "A Long way I have traveled good sir, might you tell me where the nearest inn is?" Here is the key to this step, forget to press the return key before typing your text. If you do not, your efforts will be unrewarded with a courteous reply from the guard or maybe he will ignore you. Either way you have accomplished nothing. If done correctly however, you will notice that sometime between typing the words "A" and "Long" your screen will explode with text and then it will freeze while your computer starts to load you at your last bind point, albeit naked. Upon re-entering the world of Norrath, take a gander at your exp bar and you will see that the mission was a complete success J
* the following add-on may be used in conjunction with any and all
of the strategies presented here: Make sure that your last bind point is
on the other side of the land from where you die. This way, you are able
to waste the few hours you have playing retrieving your body instead of
gaining exp, which is what we are trying to avoid.
Strategy 2: This next idea takes a little more effort on your part to coordinate it succesfully so as to disallow your group from saving your ass. After succesfully fighting mobs for a few hours do an exp check and see if you have gained that precious bubble of orange yet. Once satisfied that you have, commence with this plan. Wait until your group has fought the good fight with a large group of Mobs and everyones mana and health is just on the verge of being to low to fight again, then say "Hey were good for one more" Your fellow companions, knowing that you are the same lvl range as they are, will assume you are a competent player and oblige this request. When a Mob is pulled, attack it with a fury unsurpassed by anyone else. After the creature pulls on you, continue to attack so as to keep its attention. Seeing as everyones mana is a little to low for a good rescue, soon you will be greeted with the familiar sight of "Loading, please wait"
*Strategy 3: This following idea is currently my favorite and most used idea. The real key to this idea is to have a really good group so as to not kill all of them off too. It is not our right to force the confused that think lvling is a good thing to our ways. Here is what you do. Wait till everyone in the group is at full mana but your puller is not finding any safe pulls. Declare to your group " I know this place pretty well, hold on" Proceed into the depths of wherever you are hunting until you find a group of Mobs suitable to the task. Make sure then to announce that 1 is incoming. It is very important that you say only 1 even if you know that there will be about 12 so that your group does not become instantly alert and prepared to help you out when you return. If done correctly, you will be right at the feet of your companions when you are put to rest. It is very hard to pull a group big anough to kill you quick yet manageable enough for the rest of your group to kill without any of them dying. This method might take a little experimenting to get the hang of.
*I would like to thank Hailind, Jaluden, Khazal, Maltharis, Siryen,
Chaple, and countless unnamed others that helped me while I perfected this
method. Sorry guys J
Strategy 4: Write an essay on how to not get any exp. There will suddenly be a lack of people interested in adventuring with you which will directly result in you getting no experience.
Strategy 5: Flip Nagafen off.
Strategy 6: Adventure with Fazzarya Aryazzaf
-(sidenote) the above strategies are ordered 1-6 in the order of
danger and difficulty. 1 being not dangerous, 6 being your f*#king crazy.
It is very important also that about once every 2 weeks that you set aside these strategies and gain a level. Head out and you will quickly see that yes indeed things are now tougher. Once reminded WHY we stay at our present exp and danger lvl, commence strategies 1-6 in a row and you will be back in the comfort zone once again. If you are short on time, go straight to #6 and you will be rewarded with success.
I hope that I have provided you all with a means to begin your road to salvation in the lands of Norrath. I wish lvl 50 on no man and hope that the blindfolds will be lifted from your virtual eyes after reading this paper that points out some glaringly obvious truths that most are unaware of.
Yours in Justice,
Fazzarya Ayrazzaf 26th level wizardess(to stay)
Officer, Hammers of Justice.