Jrah Shu`bit [ Traveling Merchant ]  

Uploaded December 10th, 2016 by Drewinette

He wanders through the zone. He's sometimes attacked by bandits and asks for help. He doesn't seem to sell anything to players.

You say, 'Hail, Jrah Shu`bit'

Jrah Shu`bit smiles half-heartedly at you and says, 'You must forgive my haste, _____. I recognize you are a friend of the [Combine] Empire Merchants Guild, but I have many important [clients] to meet today.'

You say, 'Combine'

Jrah Shu`bit says 'Yes, unlike you, I'm quite busy caring to [Tsaph]'s business in this region. As one of the oldest members of the Combine Empire Merchants Guild, I was hand-selected to meet with his top [clients] here. You? Well, they probably asked you to pick up bear guts or something, didn't they? Seems about right for your... [frumpy] personification.'

You say, 'Tsaph'

Jrah Shu`bit scoffs and says snidely, 'If you don't know who Tsaph is, you don't deserve to. Stupid Human.'

You say, 'clients'

Jrah Shu`bit says 'Not that it's any of your business, but I'm tasked to open up primary trade lines with the Konikor giants and Burynai Legion. If those fall through, I may be forced to investigate the disgusting Drogan clan for trade opportunities. Let us [pray] it does not come to that.'

You say, 'pray'

Jrah Shu`bit says 'I pray for many things, Human. How else do you think I've collected so many things and am this well-dressed? I'll add a prayer for your [frumpy] outfit to my next session.'

You say, 'frumpy'

Jrah Shu`bit appears relieved, like he's been holding in his judgment of your appearance since he first saw you and can't wait to let it out. He starts shouting, 'Frumpy, drab, outdated, shabby, umkempt, dingy, archaic, bedraggeled, scuffy, unseemly, tasteless, tacky, loathsome, vomituous - take your pick, you filthy animal. Look at yourself. You are all of those things and so many [more]!'

You say, 'more'

Jrah Shu`bit says 'Disgusting, offensive, dingy, atrocious, gruesome, horrifying, dreadful, grody, abusive, embarrassing, obnoxious, repellent, odious, foul, full of debauchery - and NOT the [fun] kind. '

You say, 'fun'

Jrah Shu`bit says 'Your chosen outfit appears to be assembled by 3 blind hags who only had use of one combined arm, and that arm had previously been mangled by some hero who had come by previously to torture them and could only find a rusty spoon and boiling acid to do the job. And, even then, the hags would've been TRYING to sabotage you to end up with the [patchwork] atrocity you're wearing.'

You say, 'patchwork'

Jrah Shu`bit says 'You more closely resemble an iradiated monster assaulting a castle after being stabbed by countless pitchfork-wielding villagers that had formed a rampaging mob of righteous hooligans who are responding to the sickening freak they see in the only way a [sane] person could.'

You say, 'sane'

Jrah Shu`bit says 'Do not speak to me of sanity, you atrocious miscreation. You may speak to me when anything you wear matches another article of clothing within 30 feet of you. Or anything on Norrath, for that matter!'