CHRISTMAS EVE IN NORRATH
By Tona Whispersong and Raventod Ivikkewikkae
Luclin Server

T'was the night before Christmas and throughout Norrath,
All the creatures were stirring, invoking their wrath.
The merchants were stocked full of rations galore,
But greed had indeed made for wanting much more.

 The players were camped by the spawns of great loot,
Hoping for GBS 0r journeyman boots.
With I in my lambent and he in his plate,
We'd just partied up for a raid of Plane Hate.

With buff after buff we prepared for the fight,
we all settled down for a long, frenzied night.
When over in Velious, there arose such a clatter,
we ported from Hate Plane to see what was the matter.

The moon on the breast of the new-fallen snow,
was perfect for pulling the Shardwurms below
When what through my eye of Zomm should I see,
But an ogre named Santa Claugg coming towards me

As he approached, he was scratching his butt
He belched and he burped like Jabba the Hutt
His pants hung way down, exposing his crack,
He distributed gifts from his Ransacker's Pack.

A PGT, CGS, SSoY!
Oracle Robe, Ghoulbane, Crystalline Eye!
He threw them to newbies and they cheered with a w00t!
"Come to this zone, Santa's giving phat l3wt!"

I squeezed through the crowd with my hands out in front,
"I'll take one hand slashing, piercing, or blunt!"
But Santa Claugg looked at me, glaringly too,
"For greed you get bupkus! Nothing for you!"

I felt like a fool with my hands open wide,
No twinks here tonight, only newbies with pride.
I lowered my head and said with a sigh,
"I don't want anything, it was really a lie."

The cheers could be heard to the Faydarks and back,
"I only stopped in 'cause I needed a snack."
I turned around slowly and started to leave,
When Claugg tapped my shoulder, "You have to believe."

I turned back and conned him, he came in deep red
And an idea was forming inside of my head
I sent a /gu chat and called to my mates
"Let's take this guy down, before his ass gates!"

But just as I got my twin yaks in my hands,
A rumbling cloud fell and covered the lands.
"Santa Claugg has challenged you to a duel!"
   I howled and prepared to take down the fool!

Despite his great weight, the Ogre was fast
And before I could react, he started to cast;
My HP had dropped and I stood alone,
I had no other choice but to limp to the zone.

The spectators all cheered, "WTG big guy!"
But Santa had something he wanted to try.
He healed my weak body before I zoned out,
This uber GM, had some kind of clout!

I /kneeled at Claugg's feet, a humbled young man,
I knew at that moment he had much greater plans.
But guildmate <insert name> was ready to kill,
He ran through the zone shouting, "Blood I will spill!"

"You'll ruin our event with greed on your hands,
You'll not ruin MY fun while I'm in these lands...
To PK a GM you think is just fine,
you've ruined your own lands you'll not ruin mine!"

I begged him to stop as he readied a spell
My words went unheard, on deaf ears they fell.
My body was consumed by his Sunstrike
"Damn, this CR's gonna be quite a hike."

Right as my life passed in front of my eyes,
He opened his mouth, and to our surprise,
He spoke words of wisdom, to preface his kills,
I listened with interest, my mind filled with thrills.

"Christmas is time to remember the joys,
of all the less fortunate girls and boys.
There's plenty out there who have much less than you,
Remember that they pay nine ninety-five too."

"So next time you're camping that uber rare item
Don't hang out forever just so you can spite 'em.
Be well lads and lasses! Remember your fate!"
You've been slain by a Claugg!

LOADING, PLEASE WAIT . . .