Bad Request

Hundreds of copies of Nilitim's Grimoire must have been made and every one was torn to shreds and spread all over Norrath. Should we really be trusting the spells from this?

What do vendors do with all the junk that's sold to them?

Do mobs ever get quests to kill us?

How do you fit a 15 pound tuna in your backpack?

Apparently Veeshan's Peak got a visit from Queer Eye for the Straight Dragon

Pets everywhere are celebrating that they no longer get left behind to get pounded into the ground by the train when you run to the zone... Jabober Lives!

I wonder whether anyone's Epic 2 will be called an Electric Boogaloo.

Do mobs in The Treacherous Crags drop tipt toes?

Omens of Gwar, where foam armor rules!

I wonder what happened to Ulth that got him so enraged?

How is it that lightstones are actually bigger than the wisps that drop them?

What are the POK guards guarding against anyways?

Vote Fippy, 2004.
(I'm Fippy Darkpaw and I approved this ad)

Someone needs to tell the Frogs that their stone in PoK still says Grobb on it

What does making a salad have to do with baking?

I wonder if anyone ever tried to give Fennin Ro a hot foot.

Yellow Muddite. Orcish Fodder. Herot Terkins. Elf Tenada.

Inktu'ta Matata!

Never buy food from a Barbarian Baker. After all, the 10 pound meat pie actually weighs 7.2 pounds.

Apparently Uqua's Barxt was worse than its bite.

Think Alexsa Whyte is feeling a little tongue tied today?

When you see your corpse after more than 7 days, shouldn't it be all worm-eaten and decayed?

Unfortunately, all of the casinos in Las Vegas were causing too high a load, so they've been removed until further notice.

Don't you want to see Fabled Fippy Darkpaw finally hack his way into North Qeynos and exact a little revenge for those years of torment?

Txevu, Ikkiinz, Inkuta, Itpt - Geshunteit

Who knew there were so many ways to cook Cragbeast?

My love for you is a ticking clock, Berserker.

Taelosians sure seem to be Gourmands

I wonder what the over-under is for the number of level 65 Berserkers there will be by this weekend?

What do the merchants do with all those rusty weapons they buy?

The fix of the charm fix has been fixed.

Don't you think Maiden's Voyage needs a name change by now?

When the new invading army reaches your door, do they say "noc, noc"?

The first person to fry up some bat wings had to be pretty darn hungry.

Shouldn't it require a plastic surgeon to augment someone?

You have to be a true scavanger when you start picking hairs off a dead spider.

I hope the wayfarers we're relying upon to find the new continent aren't the same ones who keep getting kidnapped by the same mobs over and over again.

If you attack Santa for that bag of loot, do you think the reindeer will aggro on you?

How could you live on Luclin and not notice an entire continent on the planet you orbit?

Given the recent influx, maybe we should change the popular saying to "a platinum piece for your thoughts".

Hey did you know that if you ordered Lords of Everquest you would ... *slap* ... oh I see you've heard about that already.

How hungry do you have to be before a rat ear sandwich starts to sound good?

Aren't you glad you can't actually hear the Maestro of Rancor's orchestra?

You know you've played Everquest too much when someone says "add" and you look up in panic expecting to get attacked from behind.

Only in Norrath is being the main looter considered a good thing.

Never play Blind Man's Bluff with a Dark Elf.

If only gnomes were as cute as tarutaru, maybe people wouldn't want to punt them.

LDoN: It's not just an adventure, it's a job.

Despite their name, the Wayfarers aren't much of a brotherhood. "You worked on all those adventures in my brother's camp? Great, here's a shitty charm I can sell you. Now if you had done my adventures ..."

The wolf and cheetah are certainly speedy, noble creatures whose spirit many would embrace, but where'd they come up with the shrew?

Most people wake up with guck in their eyes. These guys wake up with eyes in their Guk.

Is it just me, or did California just replace Fippy Darkpaw with Hadden the Barbarian?

For adventurers, they sure do a lot of standing around.

I bet Rathmana Allin regrets all those years of price gouging now that a whole camp of merchants has moved in next door.

Check out the Ro's and Oasis. I didn't think you could get that much action in the desert without installing slot machines.

For such a powerful bunch, the brotherhood sure seems to get captured a lot.

I bet the Shady Swashbuckler is regretting the location he picked for his secret underground business.

Don't you think the Wayfarers Brotherhood would have at least pitched a tent for themselves when they decided to set up shop in the wilderness?

Is it just me, or does Fironia Vie look like she's been doing some serious leg squats in the new splash screen?

Takish'Hiz? Gesundheit!

Maybe with the shared bank spaces, we should now all change the name of our Characters to Eve or Sybil.

Instanced dungeons - where nobody can hear you shout.

Item Augmentation slots? Next thing you know some ogre is going to try to stuff a halfling into one of those empty slots just to see what happens.

I wonder why the gods of the Plane of Knowledge still haven't figured out that Grobb is now called Gukta and is no longer evil?

How is it you can summon a wolf inside a dungeon just fine, but you can't just get its spirit?

Who cares about air conditioning. Some people have been without EQ for more than 24 hours now.

Did you ever think that the guards actually like being attacked and killed? Anything has to be better than standing in the exact same spot year in and year out.

Do you think Nagafen is wondering why there's so much more traffic through his caverns lately?

Do Frost Giants ever need warm underwear?

Who shaves a barbarian?

Only in Norrath does getting fired up for an adventure involve actual fire.

Isn't "The Hole" pretty vague? After all, most people have to deal with quite a few holes most days.

You know, if the guards would just stop killing all the snakes, maybe there wouldn't be such a problem with rats in Norrath's cities.

I don't know where giants go to relieve themselves, but I sure hope I never stumble across it by mistake.

EQ Mac: Twink Different!

Shouldn't a pocket dungeon drop pocket change?

Did you ever wake up in the Plane of Sky and wonder how you got there?

Never play Twister with a Troll.

Will LDoN players have to start each sentence with "for instance..."? And end the conversation with "...guess you had to be there"?

Shouldn't the new expansion really be called The Found Dungeons of Norrath?

Are Planes-flagged players wandering around going "charmed I'm sure"?

When Luclin blows up, you just know some poor AFK trader is going to go with it.

Now that I know there will be evolving a race of half man, half rat sometime in the future, I suddenly have no desire to venture into Dragon Necropolis again.

Wouldn't a halfling two hander be one hand sized for an ogre?

Knowing the moon is destined to blow up someday, shouldn't you be trying to corner the acrylia market?

I bet Lord Nagafen throws a great barbecue.

Lost dungeons? How can you misplace an entire dungeon, let alone 15 or 20? Maybe Arthur Andersen was in charge of keeping track of them.

Poor ole' Shady Swashbuckler must be pretty lonely these days.

If you pickpocket a bixie and steal its stinger, shouldn't that render it unable to hit you any more?

Imagine how impressed you would be if you met someone in real life who was a master baker, blacksmith, tailor, brewer, pottery and jewelry maker.

I wonder if Trolls think Frogloks taste just like chicken.

Don't you wish there was a use for all the junk you find in real life like there is in Everquest?

I wonder how much dough an easter egg would make.

Don't you think a bard playing the strings on his sword while at the same time running and fighting is seriously at risk of losing a finger or two?

Shouldn't frogs get an extra tongue attack when hunting bugs?

When a frog is wearing shoes, wouldn't he have a hard time swimming?

How do frogs wear rings?

Admit it, no matter how many times it happens, you still jump back every time a slain giant falls in your direction.

When a giant eats a Froglok, would you say it has a frog in its throat?

You know it's only a matter of time until the Dark Elves and Trolls start to get on each other's nerves. I'd hate to have picked that day to go shopping in Neriak.

I bet the little Lucky Charms Leprechaun is really worried now that Ykesha has come out.

With all the pirates around, don't you find yourself looking around for Peter Pan and Tinker Bell?

If a Necromancer used incense to set a special mood, would you call it Necromatherapy?

Will frogloks die, or will they just croak?

I bet the favorite drink in the new frog town will be Budweiser.

Don't you think Sony should have the Ykesha launch party at Senor Frogs?

Think of how disgusting most places in Norrath have to be. People are slaughtering everything that moves and then butchering them to find any useful body part. It's a good thing our toons have no sense of smell.

Will the Froglok Warrior's Guild be called The Battletoads?

When a frog dies, will the game start playing "It ain't easy being green"?

Isn't it good to know that no part of a dead orc truly ever goes to waste?

Why can't frogs be bards? Well, you know they would be hopping around singing "Hello My Baby" or "The Michigan Rag" while you were trying to med and then the minute you wanted them to actually sing for you they would just sit there, look stupid and croak.

I don't even want to think about what the Frog bakers will be cooking up.

Think there will be a zone in the new expansion where you have to jump across lily pads and logs moving at different speeds to reach the other side?

What is it about the average Norrathian adventurer that makes him want to tear random body parts off the monsters he kills in hopes that someone somewhere might actually give him something for it?

I bet old Cazic Thule is getting a great laugh at all those other gods who used to tease him about getting killed by adventurers all the time.

Aren't you glad Dwarves can't be bards?

Wouldn't you think that the Acrylia Caverns would be mined out by now?

Nothing is more feared in all of Norrath than a female Ogre armed with a sprig of Mistletoe.

Santa must go through a lot of bat wings.

Do you think in Norrath's north pole, the other reindeer would complain to Santa that he should nerf Rudolf's nose?

If some fat guy in a red suit flew a sleigh full of loot across the skies of Norrath, you just know he wouldn't make it far enough to get down anyone's chimney.

Aren't there times you wish you could change your camera angles in real life?

Did you ever notice that when you go into the bazaar and enter trader mode, you actually start to think like an NPC?

When you wear a haste item does that mean that everything you do is done 35% or so faster? Seems like that would make you a very annoying person to hang out with.

Shouldn't you be a little upset if you are wearing a long robe and someone comes along, pulls it up, and starts to inspect your pants? And how can they even tell what sleeves you are wearing?

How desperate for loot do you have to be to strip a pus-filled pelt off of a diseased rat?

The way these gnomes are tinkering lately, it's only a matter of time before they are fighting with laser guns and hand grenades.

Charisma items make no sense. What, for example, is it about a diseased ratskin mask that makes you so much more attractive? ... Man in bar "hey baby". Woman "Ooo. Is that genuine diseased ratskin you are wearing? You so sexy." /bonk.

Something tells me the mice in the Plane of Disease have never been anywhere near the Magic Kingdom.

Shouldn't a real god be able to keep pesky adventurers from sneaking into his house and trying to kill him all the time?

Don't those shopkeepers ever eat or sleep? Only in Norrath can you find the all night backpack vendor.

How is it that when you take a boat across the ocean you are so seasick you can't even cast a simple spell, but if you swim through that same ocean you have energy enough to cast loads of spells?

If you kiss a froglok, would he turn into a giant prince?

Do you think the regular NPC merchants are jealous of the bazaar traders?

Judging from the amount of alcohol for sale, Norrathians never want to get too far away from a good party.

I'm sure glad you can't smell in Norrath. Folks go long times without changing their armor and there isn't a shower or bath to be seen in the whole world.

Imagine what a mess it makes when you carve your way through that giant spider trying to extract that small piece spider silk.

With all the acrylia they mine, shouldn't the Grimlings be a little better armed?

When it gets near the end of the work day, don't you wish you really could get a stamina buff?

If the junk you get while fishing is any example, Norrathians aren't the most enviromentally conscious bunch.

I'd hate to have to live off of a diet of edible goo and ogre swill.

Shouldn't a rogue be required to wear gloves before mixing up a poison?

I'm guessing the Academy of Arcane Sciences fields one really lousy football team.

Right up there on the list of bad career choices has to be a shoemaker in Rivervale, although a perfumery in Oggok may be a close second.

Aren't Vah Shir a little big to sneak? Sure, they're quiet, but don't you think once in a while someone would notice the giant cat sneaking past them?

Why don't Vah Shir purr?

If they ever opened an FAO Schwarz in Norrath, it would have to be in Ak'Anon. (tic-toc-tic-toc)

With all the gods and religions and priests of various types in Norrath, wouldn't you think there would be more churches?

Sure you laugh at the lowly moss snake, but I bet your average moss snake has a longer and happier lifespan than the great King Tormax.

How do wisps mate?

If the Jaggedpine Treefolk were so worried about pochers in their forest, why didn't they just go to their camp and wipe them out? It's not like they've been hiding or anything.

If you stumbled through your average department store like most people go through the bazaar, you would probably get arrested.

When you zone into Jagged Pines, don't you just find yourself thinking "who let the dogs out"?

You ever notice how the world is full of spiders, but you rarely ever see any webs?

Life would be pretty tough if you were an acrophobic Wood Elf.

Shouldn't Northern Karana really be called Central Karana?

Imagine how bad it must smell after you carry a pile of freshly killed animal pelts in your backpack for several days. And that's not even considering all the body parts you kept.

How do you taunt an Ogre? "You smell as pretty as a bouquet of flowers"? "What minty fresh breath you have"? "You look Mahvelous"?

Wouldn't it be great to have tracking in real life? Your boss would never find you then.

I bet halflings get their feet stepped on all the time.

Do you think the Vah Shir all rooted for Tiger Woods in the US Open?

Ever wonder how it can be noon in Steamfont, Iceclad, Temple of Veeshan, the Plane of Fear, Freeport and Blackburrow at the same time?

Considering nobody in Norrath locks their doors, it's surprising that you don't walk in on some rather embassing activities now and them.

Do bakers in Luclin make Moonpies?

Wouldn't you like to hit the local singles bar equipped with a couple of grandmaster items?

If tailors had to work as hard to make things in real life as they do in Norrath, we would probably all be walking around naked.

Did you notice that scientific advancement in Norrath usually consists of discovering a long lost book of trade skill information rather than anyone actually learning something new.

How hungry do you have to be to be willing to chow down on rat ear pie?

Would anyone really pick up a bile covered pebble and put it in their pocket?

Did you ever notice that the people of Norrath have failed to domesticate a single food animal yet always have plenty of meat for sale.

What does a beastlord's pet eat?

If you loot a chunk of ice and put it in your backpack, shouldn't it melt?

Wouldn't you think the giants in the Frontier Mountains would learn to at least shut their front door now and then.

If Ogres fought like bixies, they would be invincible.

Whenever you run across a short bald guy wearing glasses, aren't you tempted to ask him how things are going back home in Ak'Anon?

Shouldn't a Vah Shir purr when he sits and meditates in the sun?

I bet a Nexus Scion is never late for an appointment.

Considering how fast they seem to breed, why is it you never see female goblins?

The moon may not have any green cheese, but it sure has a lot of fungus.

Don't you think a lord of beasts would have animals aggro on him just a little less than the common folk?

Just think. Spell casters all over the world are just now finding out what the world looks like while sitting down.

Here's an NCAA upset: a Gnome University in the sweet 16 (Gnomishka Polytechnika?). Still, I bet they would be good three point shooters.

If you can't tell what time it is on the moon because you can't see the sun, how can you tell the time when you are in a dungeon?

If you find a piece of spore covered armor and wash the spores off of it, does it lose its potency?

How do the Vah Shir keep so much fine furniture around and yet resist the urge to shred it?

How can a tortured soul feel amiable about anything?

Dont you think that rangers would arouse more suspicion when they foraged in cities? ... "Hey get out of my flowerbed you freak!"

OK we know the Dark Elf, Troll and Ogre judges would vote for the Dark Elf skaters and the High Elf, Wood Elf and Halfling judges would go for the Wood Elf pair. But who would the Iksar vote for. And if it's the Dark Elf, does that make the Iksar French?

Who could really compete with the Oggok Olympic Hockey Team? One check and you're toast.

Why are there no snowdrifts in Everfrost?

I bet the Grimlings aren't too thrilled that someone on Norrath figured out how to get to the moon.

All Mobs must be at least part Ranger, considering that when you tick them off they can track you across an entire dungeon.

Seven weeks of playing on the moon and I still haven't found a single piece of green cheese.

What does a halfling swing at when he is fighting a giant?

Admit it, some of you experienced a slight sense of deja vous when you zoned into Paludal Caverns and found yourself in a cave full of walking, talking mushrooms.

I wonder what sized train you would pick up if you ran through Shar Vahl trailing a ball of string.

How much trading can the Loda Kai Traders really do considering that they try to kill everyone who enters their cave?

To paraphrase the great Yosemite Sam -- Pets is so stupid.

If you're really a beastlord, who do so many beasts insist on attacking and killing you?

If an item is no drop, how are you able to loot it from the Mob in the first place?

If my cat's any example, Vah Shir shouldn't need anything other than their own claws for hand to hand combat.

How does an armor piece suddenly spring a tail hole when a Vah Shir puts it on?

I don't know the gestation period for the Vah Shir, but I figure that around nine months ago there must have been one whale of a party.

Does anything actually happen when you cast feet like cat on a Vah Shir?

Don't you think the Vah Shir would be a little more surprised when half the adventurer's in Norrath suddenly show up on their doorstep?

Do you really want to wear the soiled breechclout you took off the guy you killed?

If I start a beastlord and can't summon up a couple of ferrets and a tiger, I'll sure be disappointed.

What do I think about the Vah Shir? They're Grrrrreat!

I wonder if the Vah Shir will have enough courage?

Do Norrathians eat aviak for thanksgiving dinner?

I'd hate to meet a troll with a head cold.

Shouldn't people raised on Norrath be able to easily out jump your average moon creature on Luclin?

Do bards get together and talk about ... "this one time at band camp..."?

I bet monks find celebacy a little difficult when you consider their typical style of dress.

Can a wood elf female really be strong enough to carry eight backpacks full of stuff everywhere she goes?

If you could only market something in real life that would raise a person's charisma you would be a rich man.

When you wander through Thurgadin, don't you find yourself looking around for Snow White?

It will be difficult to do a long camp with a Vah Shir. He's likely to fall asleep for much of the time and then tear off after some phantom Mob when you least expect it.

If a Vah Shir were to take on a Baby Kangaroo, you just know it wouldn't even be a fair fight.

If you catch a disease in the swamps, is it called jungle fever?

How bad must the Sarnak's lives be that they still can get so many recruits to man that fortress?

Did you ever notice that there are very few female orcs? No wonder the men are so cranky and warlike.

Do Treants turn colors in the Fall?

Don't you sometimes wish you could give some plus intelligence gear to the player behind the toon?

Yosemite Sam would make one great dwarf warrior, but no matter how high a level he got, he would never be able to beat a rabbit.

Did you notice you never see fat people in EQ? Must be all that running.

Shouldn't kerrans and gnolls be natural enemies?

Can you imagine a finicky Vah Shir getting anywhere near Chef Dooga's place?

When Luclin comes out, shouldn't there be an option to visit Lodgemaster Kramden and ask him to send you "to the moon"?

Will Vah Shir Bards sing the stray cat song?

Do the beasts know their lord is coming in December?

For such a smart race, the Erudites seem pretty oblivious to what's happening around them. First they missed Paineel, then the Hole and the Warrens and now the whole huge area of the Stonebrunt Mountains. Guess that's what you get for keeping your nose in a book and not looking up now and then.

Highpass Citizens must either be really tough or really crazy.

Do you think aviaks taste just like chicken?

Ever wondered where old warriors go when they get tired of adventuring? Clearly, they must become shopkeepers.

How can you run around the Oasis of Marr in full padded plate armor without collapsing of heat stroke in about 5 minutes?

Have you noticed that there are no stores in all of Norrath that sell underwear?

If there were an Undead Aviak, would it be called a Poultry-Geist?

Where do Giants sleep at night?

Which way do you turn to backstab a wisp?

If Kerrans are anything like my cat, the moon is going to be covered in a fine layer of cat fur.

Did you ever wonder how many blackburrow stouts the road designer had drank before starting to draw the roads?

If they ever set their minds to it the Frogloks could probably rule the world.

Imagine Chef Dooga with her own cooking show. When she says bam, she gives it a whole different meaning, and I don't even want to see her kicking it up a notch.

It's a lonely job being a cobbler in Rivervale.

Do the Bixies in the northern part of Misty Thicket call their southern cousins Dixie Bixies?

The record for the longest running show at the Luclin theatre has to belong to "Cats".

Where do Iksar wear earrings?

If Stone Golems are made of Stone, Muddites of mud, and Granite Gargoyles of Granite, what's that say about the Wood Elf?

And the winner of the most powerful class in all of Norrath is .... The Merchant, of course.

What trick of evolution managed to cause so many frogs to spawn all over Norrath?

Do such things as tusks, bones and teeth really make such good weapons?

Patch should be a four letter word.

After a Mob has spawned in the same spot for the umpteenth time, don't you just start to shake your head and think "when will they ever learn"?

Considering the damage that can be dished out by the monks, clerics, druids and shamen of the world, people must think twice before they skip a day of church

If you named your character LuckyCharms, mobs would keep saying "I'll teach you to interfere with me LuckyCharms!"

Why do dark elves even get a begging skill? Imagine trying to beg a copper from a drow.

They say you can lead a horse to water, but ... oh wait, there are no horses. Makes you wonder what creature runs in the derby in Norrath.

When we get to the moon, will it be one small step for a gnome or a giant leap for some other kind?

How does a grizzly understand your insults when you taunt it?

Do you think the bard's guild on the dark side of the moon will be run by Roger Waters?

Now we know why dogs howl at the moon. There are Kerrans up there.

I don't know about you, but I'll be disappointed if I get all the way to Norrath's moon and don't find a single piece of green cheese.

If you think it is hard to understand an ogre, imagine trying to talk to an ogre with a bad lisp.

When you kill lockjaw and loot some halfling parts, do you find yourself wondering if that might be what happened to your long lost uncle Fred?

When you go in to sell your loot, don't you just want to say "Hello a_vendor, have you seen the new fire beetle eye I just got"?

Did you notice there are no vultures in the game? That's probably because the corpses all disappear so fast that the vultures died off from starvation.

How is it that a monk can still punch and kick underwater?

If ogres fought like bixies, the would be pretty much unstoppable.

How good a thief can the dervs be when everyone in the world knows where their hideouts are?

Wouldn't you like to take a giant can of raid to Northern Karana and just go nuts?

Considering how many snakes there are, I think it is safe to say that St Patrick has never been to Norrath.

If music truly sooths the savage breast, why do the Mobs always end up attacking the bard?

How would you like to be a weather forecaster in Norrath? "And today's forecast calls for ... Thunderstorms ... again."

Is it just me, or do halflings seem a little too fond of jum jum?

You would probably be a rich man if you could just sell an effective anti-itching powder in Oggok.

How bad must your eyesight be to lose every single weapon you ever throw at something?

Do Crystal Spiders spin Gemstone webs?

Ever wonder why Grobb was never conquered by its enemies? Well imagine a city full of Trolls wearing hot, sweaty plate armor. Now imagine the desertion rate of any army foolish enough to try to attack it.

If Khonza Mitty were to cross the world and kill Rondo Dunfire the phrase "cat got your tongue" would take on a whole new meaning.

What are the orc pawns thinking when they head out? "Here's your pick and your cloth cap. Now go out and die for the glory of all orcdom. Some newbie needs an easy kill."

Doesn't it seem kind of redundant to root a treant?

Maybe we should all start going through life hailing everyone we meet ... Nah.

Have you noticed that no creature instills a greater urge to drop everything you are doing and attack more than the simple will-o-wisp?

Considering they are surrounded by enemies and not even well liked by their friends, don't you think the dark elves would post some guards who can't be killed by any journeyman looking for a bronze sword.

When you consider yourself, shouldn't you feel a little more than indifferent? It's kind of sad that your guild leader likes you more than you like yourself.

All at the same time, you can walk, eat food, drink liquid, change your weapons and armor, talk to your guild, friends and strangers, swing a weapon, wield a shield, check your direction and probably a dozen other things, but just try to step one step and still cast a spell.

You know you are spending too much time playing Everquest when your diet is even worse than your character's.

You know you've been playing this game too long when you start memorizing the positions of the local cops so you can run to them if you get in trouble.

You know you've played this game too long when you see a sign at a hotel that says pets are allowed and you think "great I can bring my skeleton"

It's a good thing Clerics have magical means of reviving a character. Imagine giving mouth to mouth to an ogre.

If an item were truly no drop, how is it that you were able to loot it from an NPC?

Is it just me or are there more versions of alcohol available for purchase than food? Then again, after dying 5 times in one day, which would you rather buy?

What could possibly have made the orcs think that setting up camp right outside the wood elf city was a good idea?

There is an old Norrathian proverb that goes "Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach a man to fish and he will be bored for a lifetime"

In Norrath, do they say "a copper for your thoughts"?

What do the merchants do with all of the snake skins, bat fur and other junk they buy? Is there some hidden market for them that we just haven't discovered?

You would think it would be easy to battle a cyclops. Sure it's big, but how much depth perception can it have with only one eye?

Santa sure has it easy in Norrath. There are hardly any children for him to keep track of, and if he wants to know if they've been naughty or nice, he can just check their faction.

How is it that even when it is just discovered, the banks in Velious are still linked to every other bank in Norrath? Do you think those bankers knew about Velious all the time and just never told anyone?

As fast and far as he travels in one night, that jolly old elf, Santa, just has to be a wood elf druid.

The Ocean to Velious is full of ice floes. If I see a reindeer, elf and human with a pack of dogs floating on some ice, I'm heading in to see what I can loot. How about Rudolf's Nose (infravision and a light source); or Herme's Dental Book (major intelligence boost); or Yukon's Silver and Gold seeking Pick (item is broken of course). Whaahoo.

One more way Everquest differs from real life: In real life, if you see a bear, you don't think "hey I think I'll just go bash that thing with a stick".

Don't you think that the single, tall guard tower on top of the hill in Northern Karana should have been leveled by several lightning strikes by now?

I wonder what Chef Dooga is whipping up for her Thanksgiving feast. Then again, I'm not sure I want to know.

Every time I wander into Blackburrow, I can't help but ponder that musical question: "Who let the dogs out?"

How is a halfling able to wield a weapon he just looted off of a giant?

You just know that when they were coming up with a song for Rivervale the song "It's a Small World after All" kept going through their heads and they finally just had to see if they could duplicate its effect.

How is it that you can see a tiny coin that you dropped from a mile away, but just try to find that long metal spear that you just threw.

In the time it took you to beg for that gold piece you could have killed enough Mobs to earn it, gained some experience and playing knowledge, had some fun and, most importantly, retained your dignity.

Wouldn't you think a Halfling running around Everfrost would get some pretty cold feet? Then again, Halflings are not known for getting cold feet.

If real life shopkeepers were as tough as those in Norrath, I'm guessing there would be a whole lot less shoplifting.

I wonder what would happen if all of the bandits in the world really started to go around and steal things.

Why did the Ogres clear paths so narrow they can't run along them?

Did you ever notice that there aren't any inns in Ak'Anon? Think it might be that nobody except a gnome would ever be able to sleep through all that ticking?

Unrest seems like the perfect place to go to stock up on Halloween decorations.

When Lord Soptyvr says he is going to keep an eye on you, it is really time to start worrying.

If everyone just comes back to life after they die, where do all the undead come from?

Is it just me or do all those taverns in Kelethin with no bathrooms make you just a little uncomfortable when you're walking underneath the city platforms?

I bet the grown up gnolls were the best behaved children in the world. That's because the bad ones were sent to a fun new playground right next to the big city.

Just when I thought I had seen everything, I saw a Bull Elephant dodge my arrow.

Only the orc army would consider standard issue shoulderpads and bracelets a great way to outfit their legionnaires.

Imagine if you really went through life thinking "Hey there's someone I never saw before. I wonder what loot I could get from his corpse."

Imagine the skill level of a Giant Blacksmith.

Think of what level most Mobs would be at if they lost experience every time they died.

When you practice alcohol tolerance with your guild master, shouldn't you head to the nearest bar? And did you notice that after the first couple of rounds, he always makes you buy?

How can there be so many giants and yet not a single beanstalk to be found?

Think of the whelt you would get after you get bitten by one of the mosquitoes in the Swamp of No Hope ... Hey, are you growing a new head? Nope, just a mosquito bite.

The most ruthless creature in the game has to be Krak Windchaser. He'll stand there and watch you slaughter his family and them calmly make a profit by buying the stuff you strip from their corpses.

It's probably time to start worrying when you summon a pet and his name is Goner

Shouldn't the Vengeful Musicians be bards?

Why do Ogre shado nites talk lik dis when dey as smart as sum classes in udder races?

For those of you complaining of how long it takes to run around the world, think of how long it would take if your stride was truly proportionate to the sizes and distances in the zones.

For a corrupt organization, the Freeport Militia sure seems enthusiastic about their jobs.

Are sand giants supposed to look like Saddam Hussein?

Bugs is wrong. Monsters really don't lead such interesting lives. I mean how much living can you do in 10 seconds?

I'd sure hate to take on the Iksar olympic swimming team.

Did you ever wonder with all those Frogloks in the Swamp of No Hope why there are still so many mosquitoes?

Why is it I can run around all of Norrath my entire life in full armor with 8 backpacks, but I jump 10 times in a row and "Whoa, I gotta sit down a minute"

If madmen are so insane, how is it that they can cast spells so efficiently?

For a city hundreds of feet above the ground, why did the wood elves build so many taverns?

Did you ever notice that the only thing every race in Norrath seems to have in common is a local brew?

Norrath must be a great place to be a werewolf. The moon is always full.

They say it's good to be the king ... unless you're an orc.

Wouldn't you think that after swinging a 2 handed sword and wearing plate mail for a couple of years you would get a little stronger?

Should a master forager really be digging up more junk than food?

It's amazing that most camps don't have a ring of dead grass around them from all of the players sitting there.

You think the Design team at one point thought "Badgers, we don't need no stinkin' badgers"?

Imagine what it would look like in real life to see someone run by being pursued by a bunch of bears, lions and wolves.

I wonder what makes the insects grow so big in Norrath? For the most part, every other creature type is a fairly normal size, but those bugs seem to be on some serious insect steroids.

Shouldn't a bard be able to perform for his meal? You would think a song would be worth a few muffins and skin of milk.

What is it about goblins and orcs that make them all think they are such great poets?

With all the magic classes in Norrath, I bet the fireworks shows are pretty spectacular.

Shouldn't an orc smoke a little after getting blasted to death by a column of flame?

They say fish gotta swim and birds gotta fly, but in Norrath the only birds run on the ground and build houses in trees.

Why is it that you never see a pirate actually sailing a ship?

If a Treant falls on the plains and there's nobody there ... then what the heck killed it?

Do you really want to eat something you foraged from the basement in Blackburrow?

You have to admire the gumption of most Norrath citizens. If someone walked into your shop dressed in armor and carrying a pile of lethal looking weapons, would you send him on an errand to fetch you some bone chips or some other trivial item?

Haven't you always wondered what things like Blackburrow Stout and Edible Goo really taste like? Then again, you probably don't want to know.

Just think how goofy it would sound if the typically abreviated conversations most people have in the game were actually spoken aloud.

Only in Norrath will you get on a boat, wait for it to sail, notice that nobody is driving, and feel like that is perfectly OK.

Only in Norrath can you go to your local bank and not think twice about seeing one or two dead bodies laying on the floor.

It's a good thing we can't smell things in the game. During a hot summer day, I bet all those people running around in heavy armor have to really make the cities and dungeons reek.

Given the length of the Norrathian day, doesn't it seem like a character that was started over a year ago our time should be a little too old to be running around slaying monsters and such?

For such an evil race, the Iksar actually look very friendly when you see them.

You have to give the Erudites credit. They wanted to go to a part of the world where nobody would bother them. Well, they couldn't have made a better choice than the ever-empty continent of Odus.

Where do you get all those little bags you use to throw things on the ground? Imagine how many a typical druid goes through on grubs alone.

Wouldn't it be cool if you could actually hear the bards play their songs? Then again, the twisting would probably drive you nuts.

Do the undead in the world come from the burial grounds of the common citizens? If so, I wonder if they recognize them. "Hey, don't hit that decaying skeleton. That's my Uncle Billy."

What are those NPC's thinking when they spawn? "Ouch. Those people are here again. How do they always know I'm going to apear at this spot?" You would think one of them would wise up and change his bind point.

Wouldn't it be nice to see one of the guards get promoted or something? "Where's Guard Valon?" "He's now Sergeant Valon, patrolling the city gate. And he's buffed up and looking for revenge on those people who have been kicking his butt all these years."

Anyone who thinks Iksar don't have rogues has never met an Iksar bandit.

The good races probably feel secure from the Iksar menace, knowing that as a last resort they can always unleash a horde of killer merchants to take the lizards out.

With all of the lizards, frogs, snakes and bugs running around, Kunark is definitely a cold blooded continent.

Did you notice how everyone got off the boat or teleport and headed straight to the nearest good place to start killing things? Poor Karnor never knew what hit him.

How did a thousand years manage to go by without somebody sailing a boat slightly southeast of the Oasis of Marr and noticing that huge continent over there?

Isn't it kind of redundant to buff an earth elemental with skin like stone?

Wouldn't you like to have the umbrella concession in the Karanas?

The game designers are definitely cat people. Cats get an entire intelligent race and society, while dogs just get a few eternally camped mutts. Even birds are better off than dogs.

Isn't it kind of cold running around Everfrost in a kilt?

With the Iksar race about to come out, all those monsters talking about you not ruining their lands like you ruined yours will finally have someone to yell at where that actually makes sense.

It's probably a good thing that the bears, wolves, and other wildlife in real life aren't as aggressive as those found in Norrath.

Wouldn't it be nice if real life school were more like training in Norrath and you could just walk up to your teacher, train up your 5 new skill points and be done with it? Congratulations. You have become better at Math. Cool, lets go have fun.

Wouldn't it be embarrasing if you could actually be crushed when an elephant you just killed falls over on you.

With all those casters in Qeynos and Surefall, you would think they would have built themselves a teleporter a little closer than Western Karanas.

When you loot a goblin and get yourself a pair of pants, doesn't it make you wonder if all the other goblins you looted were pantless? Yuck. ... And if they were, where did they keep their money? Double Yuck.

In Norrath March Madness is probably a disorder that happens to soldiers who get a little too tired of walking the same route all the time.

Wouldn't it be nice to be able to consider people in real life? -- Your boss regards you threatingly. What would you like your tombstone to say? Uh Oh. Break time.

Everquest has to be damaging to the railroad industry. There are now several hundred thousand people who panic everytime they hear the word train.

Wouldn't it be cool if the animation showed all those meditating casters truly so buried in their spellbook that they can't even see the rest of the world?

How is it that creatures die and then shout out their words of revenge? Shouldn't it be the other way around?

I think people are going to be real excited when they open Karana's Plane, just to get revenge for all of that rain.

Think what would happen if you walked into a real life bank and tried to deposit a severed head, several severed tongues and a backpack full of weapons.

Imagine a classified ad in Norrath: Shopkeeper wanted. Must be willing to work 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, with no breaks or vacation. Hazards include occasional death by giant or griffin. We pay minimum wage, but will train you to be able to kill any customer who enters the store. Rudeness a plus.

How is it the people of Erudin never found the Heretics when there was a big columned entrance to the Heretic city not far from their city and regular hunting grounds?

Did you notice how all of the banks, including the ones in evil cities, are interconnected and share items and money? I guess even in Norrath doing business with evil has never bothered a banker.

How do bards manage to whistle a warsong while swimming underwater?

Don't you wish you could actually grab those bottles downstairs in the ship's bar? It might make the long trip a little more interesting.

I wonder why aviaks, who are smart enough to have built their own village, are too stupid to notice all of the people sitting around waiting to kill them? Brings a new meaning to the phrase bird brain.

Shouldn't giant skeletons have deeper insane laughs?

How is it that you can safely wander around just about any city in wolf form, but when a real wolf comes by it gets pounded by the guards?

It seems likely that when the groundhog comes out of his hole in Norrath, he probably gets blasted so fast he doesn't have time to see his shadow. Hmm. Wonder what type of loot he drops?

When you get attacked by a werewolf, shouldn't you run the risk of becoming one yourself?

Zoning is such a great concept, I wish we could use it in real life. -- "The boss is coming" -- Zone.

Why can't you wear a backpack on your back? Or a wrist pouch on your wrist? Kind of like the old why do you drive on a parkway and park on a driveway conundrum.

Did you ever notice that all of Norrath is in the same time zone?

I wonder if the dogs and cats in Norrath get a complex when they see the other pets they are competing with. Then again, nobody wants to cuddle with a fire elemental, and playing fetch with a skeleton is just likely to get you trained.

It's probably a good thing we can't smell things in the game. All those houses in the cities and not one bathroom.

Where do the vendors get all that milk they sell to us players? Has anyone ever seen a cow in Norrath? Kind of makes me wonder what they are really milking?

Can an ogre really trust a halfling as far as he can throw him?

How does a shark's feet adhere to the ground when it gets rooted? It has no feet and swims in the water. Wouldn't it at least drift a little?

When you're walking invisibly through the Desert of Ro wouldn't you leave some pretty tell tale footprints?

Considering there are more players than orcs in Crushbone at any given time, and the slavers can measure their life expectancy in minutes, why don't the slaves just run for freedom?

I'd worry about Y2K in Everquest, except the last time I did a /time the year wasn't anywhere near 2000. Besides, chaos is pretty much the norm in Norrath.

Imagine if there were orcs or gnolls roaming around our cities attacking everything in sight like we roam through theirs.

To repeat an old Norrathian Saying: "Merry Christmas to all and to all a good fight." -- I hope Santa leaves a powerful lore item under your tree.

I'm thinking the Island of Misfit Toys is somewhere in the Ocean of Tears. And that Charlie in the Box hits for some pretty serious damage. And don't even think about attacking the flying lion king. Probably makes Griffins look tame. But the loot...

When Santa visits Norrath do you think the kids leave him muffins and milk?

Imagine what it would be like if getting drunk in real life made the room sway as much as it does in Everquest.

Where do those Deathfist Orcs live anyways? There are way too many of them to just be from the camps.

I'm surprised there are any orcs, gnolls, kobalds and the like who make it to maturity. After all they let their children play near the cities of their enemies while the toughest ones in the tribe hide deep in their lairs.

Since Taunting basically relies upon insulting and enraging your foe, it brings to mind one question ... What can you possibly say that would insult an orc?

The most dangerous profession in all of Norrath almost has to be the farmer. Who was it that convinced those people to move way out there?

Can't you almost hear the irony in the guildmaster's voice as he hands the newbie character his ragged, barely wearable guild tunic and tells him to wear it with pride?

Is it just me, or does the rain in the game fall mainly on the plains? - of Karana that is.

How is it that wolves don't seem to have Spirit of the Wolf? Or have all those SOW spells simply sucked the spirit right out of them?

What is it about dark elves that causes such a fascination with neon?

A twist on a common thought: The only two things you can count on in Norrath are death and trains. And they usually come in sequence.

Norrath is just like real life. There is never a cop (guard) when you need one, but when you don't want them around...

Don't you think the wood elves would be smart enough to install hand rails in their city so that you can't just randomly fall off the ledges? There are obviously no plaintiff's lawyers in Norrath.

Don't you wish they would increase the spawn rates of the GMs?

Imagine if the monsters started camping your spawn points.

When a Monster is getting ready to spawn, where does it wait? Is there some big orc holding area located somewhere? Whew. How would you like to be in charge of that operation? The smell alone would probably kill you.

A Cruel Thought. Imagine what your level would be if you had never died ... Arrrgh

Did you ever notice that orc pawns often carry more loot than their superiors? Maybe pawning pays after all.

Norrath merchants may be tough, but they aren't great businessmen. A pretty face and a little charm and their prices start to plummet. Plus they'll buy just about anything, no matter how many they have or how little need there is for them. Cool, another bat fur. I'll take it.

Why do Gypsies in Norrath stay in one stationary camp? Not very gypsy-like is it?

Would you want Chef Dooga catering your Wedding?

If you pickpocket a fairy and steal its wings, how does it keep on flying?

Whoever said money doesn't grow on trees, has obviously never killed a treant

If nobody ever permanantly dies in the game, where do all the undead come from?

How would you like to write the Norrathian obituary column? Imagine the size. 10-06-99 AllaKhazam died today. 10-07-99 AllaKhazam died five times today. 10-08-99 AllaKhazam died twice today.

What do skeletons spend their money on? And why bother carrying it around with them? It's not as if they may run across a bargain they can't resist.

Imagine what you would look like in real life hauling around 8 backpacks, several weapons and a pile of armor.

As you endlessly camp the same spot hoping to catch that elusive spawn, you really start to feel empathy with the coyote.

How could a society so advanced not have invented some means of land transportation other than teleportation and sow? Must be tough for the farmers to get their produce to the markets.

Don't you wish that in real life you could just step across an invisible zone line and all of the people bothering you in the other zone would then go away.

If bandits are such great outlaws, why do they keep setting up their camps in the same spots where anyone who wants to can track them down and kill them?

Why is it that Orc Pawns think they're important enough for the Entire Orc Legion to seek revenge for their deaths? You would think that the fact that they are called "pawns" would give them a hint as to their actual importance.

Wouldn't it be nice if your pet could do 32,000 points of damage to something other than itself?

What an orc thinks: Yippee. It's good to be alive, and in this nice sunny spot in Highpass too. Hey, look at all those people down there. I wonder what they want. Hi people ... *blam*, *slash*, *crunch*... Urrgh.

Why is it that fire doesn't seem to do any more damage to mummies than any other spell? Aren't they wrapped in old rags?

Did you ever notice that when you finally manage to gain a level every monster in the zone seems to zero in on your location and bash on you until you drop back down again?

What did the world look like before the various races destroyed their own lands? Must have been pretty stunning. And I wonder how beautiful the presumably still undestroyed lands of all those monsters look in comparison?

Where do skeletons keep their money?

Whoever set up the system of paths in Norrath must have slept through the class where they taught that the shortest distance between two points is a straight line.

I'd hate to set up a restaurant in Norrath, since everyone seems pretty content to live on bread and water. Not to mention that the typical Norrath restaurant would probably serve something like Rat Kabobs, Bixie Crunchies and Hot'n Spicy Toelings. Drool, Drool.

Did you ever wonder why skeletons laugh when they attack you? What's so funny about being dead? Why don't zombies laugh? Maybe skeletons know something the zombies don't, and that's what they think is so funny.

Judging from the lack of things to do on the ships, I don't think the Norrath Cruise Industry will be gaining many new converts. This definitely isn't the love boat.

I bet Nillipus has the shortest life span of any creature on Norrath. I guess going through life taunting everyone around you doesn't get you too far. "Catch me if you ... *blast*, *slash*, *bash*... urrgh"

Don't you wish someone could cast spirit of the wolf on your isp?

It ain't easy being an orc.

Shouting for help will let everyone know you are about to die. Asking for help may actually save you.

Stop and help out someone in need. It is good for your character in more ways than one.

Pay attention to whose faction drops when you kill something and make sure you don't mind making him an enemy.

Maybe size does matter. Wisps, the smallest creatures in Norrath, are probably the most widely hunted. And giants...

Judging from all the empty buildings there must have been a time when there were a lot more people in the world.

Can there be anything more boring than the life of a guard? Imagine the recruiting poster for that job. "Don't see the world. Stand in one spot and kill things."

Griffins don't make very good housepets.

Shopkeepers sure aren't making a living off their ability to suggest purchases. "Hi there AllaKhazam. You look like you could use a nice orc pawn pick." Yeah right. Very perceptive of you.

Don't you wish that once you got to a really high level you could tame and ride a griffin? Imagine how that would look cruising through the Commonlands.

Go out and see the world. In the long run, you will gain more knowledge, experience and equipment than those who stay in one place.

How is it that the average butcher, baker and candlestick maker can kick the stuffing out of an experienced adventurer? What kind of tests do they have to pass to get into the merchant's guild?

Why are there no children in Norrath? Is there some secret cloning factory somewhere that churns out citizens? I guess that explains why everyone looks so much alike.

Norrath must have one great communications system. How else can everyone in the world learn instantly that you killed their friend or enemy.

Did you ever notice that Qeynos is SonyEQ spelled backwards?

A bard in hand is worth two (or more) kills in the bush.