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Another Time Travel QueryFollow

#1 Apr 04 2014 at 9:37 AM Rating: Excellent
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Because why not?

I am willing to ship a single package with an object back 1,000 years -- no more, no less -- to a place of your choosing. I will try to match a recipient to the best of your wishes, i.e. "To the smartest chemist in China". The rules are:
-- Package is a maximum size of two cubic feet (1'x2' box or whatever variant)
-- No writing or pictographs may be sent. I will allow incidental writing such as the engravings on a pistol but no attempts to communicate ideas, instructions or warnings. An oil painting of a tree or photo of your butt would probably be allowed; a picture of Conquistadors slaughtering native Aztecs would not. I'll be the sole judge of what qualifies.
-- No live organisms or pathogens of any sort, living or dead.
-- The object may have separate parts that can reasonably be considered a "set" such as a set of silverware, a socket wrench kit or a gun with a clip of ammunition. Sticking ten random things in the box is not allowed.
-- If you wish a recipient, he will be aware that the box appeared "by magic" and probably pay special attention to it.

Will you try and change the course of history or just send a photo of your butt?

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#2 Apr 04 2014 at 9:45 AM Rating: Good
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So 1914? I'd send a picture of a butt to Archduke Ferdinand, I guess.

If you mean the year 1000, then this picture to Otto III.

Edited, Apr 4th 2014 11:48am by lolgaxe
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#3 Apr 04 2014 at 9:49 AM Rating: Excellent
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1,000 years.

2014 - 1000 = 1014 AD

I provided a link to the general 1000 AD wiki because it was more detailed about the world at large than the 1014 wiki.
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#4 Apr 04 2014 at 9:51 AM Rating: Good
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Jophiel wrote:
2014 - 1000 = 1014 AD
Yeah yeah, don't flaunt your fancy schmancy maths this late in the morning.

Make it a ******* to Cnut of Denmark then.
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#5 Apr 04 2014 at 9:59 AM Rating: Excellent
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I'd send a giant ***** to the pope, just because.

Edit: can I make it look like a gift from god? Something like a letter with "use it well" signed by God or something?

Edited, Apr 4th 2014 6:01pm by Aethien
#6 Apr 04 2014 at 10:00 AM Rating: Excellent
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Change the course of history and risk not existing? I think not!

Anyway, one of those talking fish things. Make it appear on the wall in some kind of church or religious place. Preferably during worship or something like that.

Edited, Apr 4th 2014 9:11am by someproteinguy
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#7 Apr 04 2014 at 10:07 AM Rating: Good
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Do I have a temporal immunity device? I.e, can I send back something that will affect the world around me, while my existence remains undisturbed?
#8 Apr 04 2014 at 10:16 AM Rating: Good
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Actually, even if I could secure my existence, anything that significantly affected the world 1000 years ago would pretty much guarantee the nonexistence of everyone I know and every important figure in modern history. (Except for a lucky few who randomly had the same parents meet and conceive at the exact same time with the same sperm and egg.) So I would send back nothing.
#9 Apr 04 2014 at 10:18 AM Rating: Excellent
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trickybeck wrote:
Do I have a temporal immunity device? I.e, can I send back something that will affect the world around me, while my existence remains undisturbed?

Sure. I must have access to one or else I sure as hell ain't gonna risk my existence for a talking fish.
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Wow. Regular ol' Joph fan club in here.
#10 Apr 04 2014 at 10:23 AM Rating: Good
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I'll send a box of Smores Pop Tarts and this Zippo Lighter for what they can cook it with.
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#11 Apr 04 2014 at 10:29 AM Rating: Good
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This is hard.

I was thinking tampon's because women really shouldn't have to deal with unsightly pads, but that's stupid. So then I thought about what might I send that would prevent US culture from ever deciding woman weren't supposed to have body hair. But that was a rather recent phenomena.

Then I though I should send back some interesting little science tidbit like a rubic's cube or light-stick, in hopes of fending off religious extremism.

Of course pizza was on the list but I just watched some movie recently where the time traveler sent back pizza and it saved the day. It was a pretty dumb movie.

Maybe they'd like a giant blue tarp and some plastic bottles?
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#12 Apr 04 2014 at 10:36 AM Rating: Excellent
If you accept the multiverse hypothesis, then sending back the object will cause a split in the Trousers of Time and will not actually alter this timeline. So you're safe.

Damn, 1014 was a really boring year in Europe. No text rules out books - they'd probably have to be in Latin, anyway, since modern English wasn't really a thing yet.

I'd send a map of the solar system, with all the names stripped out, but with Earth having Europe clearly visible. To the Pope.

Maybe they'll be nicer to Copernicus and Galileo in that universe.
#13 Apr 04 2014 at 10:45 AM Rating: Excellent
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I was originally going to send a toy llama pulling a wagon to the proto-Inca people to see if I couldn't kickstart the whole wheels thing in the New World. We know they had small wheels used on toys or relics but didn't carry it further and maybe this would help spur some innovation. My toy would be a bit cleaner and to better scale -- maybe two llamas harnessed side-by-side.

But now I'm sending a time bomb to Tricky's great-*-grandmother. Just because Smiley: mad
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#14 Apr 04 2014 at 10:53 AM Rating: Good
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Collect as much of the largest denomination 1900's era American currency possible and fill the box with it, then send it to Nikolas Tesla.
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#15 Apr 04 2014 at 11:09 AM Rating: Excellent
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Tesla from 1014 AD? Smiley: dubious
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#16 Apr 04 2014 at 11:12 AM Rating: Excellent
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Maybe he also risked his existence for the sake of a talking fish.
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#17 Apr 04 2014 at 11:13 AM Rating: Good
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Jophiel wrote:
Tesla from 1014 AD? Smiley: dubious


Sorry, thought you meant within the past 1000 years.
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#18 Apr 04 2014 at 12:26 PM Rating: Excellent
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Since it already apperently happened, my time traveling green and black shark scuba diving watch, to any of the chinook tribe natives living in what will become the Clark County area of washington state, with instructions to bury it nearby a certain coordinate.

My old watch is apperently a time machine, but it only travels in time by itself. Damned thing has done it twice now. Also, it has a 6 year lifespan battery on it, and is going on year 24 now. Or 1024 if what I think happened to it last time actually happened.
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#19 Apr 04 2014 at 3:25 PM Rating: Decent
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I'd send back a map of the world showing it controlled entirely by Islamic nations, to the pope of the day. Hopefully, this will cause the Church back then to panic more about Islam and result in the Crusades happening earlier than they did. This would ensure they happen prior to the post-plague period, when Europe was still technologically backwards compared to the Arabs instead of 200 years later, when Europe was able to conquer them easily and create PanEurope, ultimately leading to all the problems we see today in EuroAmericaLand. Hopefully, this will prevent the utter destruction of the Islamic religion as well, and ensure a parity between the worlds religions, which may just bring about greater understanding and peace to the world. Who knows? Maybe even Grand EuroWorld Chancellor Hitler III will be more benevolent than he is today? Could be a better, brighter world.

Or it might result in greater conflict, a fractured world in which Western values never fully take hold, with the New World being separate from the Old, and a rise in strange ideas that no GoodThinking person would accept. Ah... I'll risk it!
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#20 Apr 04 2014 at 5:38 PM Rating: Good
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How would you convey the "Muslim-ness" of the map to the then-Pope without writing or pictographs?
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#21 Apr 04 2014 at 5:40 PM Rating: Good
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Censored Muhammad banners?
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#22 Apr 04 2014 at 5:45 PM Rating: Decent
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TirithRR wrote:
How would you convey the "Muslim-ness" of the map to the then-Pope without writing or pictographs?


Apparently, I was able to figure this out.
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#23 Apr 04 2014 at 6:55 PM Rating: Excellent
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I would much rather bring someone from that time period to this one and watch the lulz.
#24 Apr 04 2014 at 9:02 PM Rating: Excellent
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I think I'd send a jack-in-the-box. Wearing a pope's mitre.

Or maybe a can of snakes! Whoo-hoo, the fun.

A whoopee cushion?
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#25 Apr 05 2014 at 11:55 PM Rating: Good
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Samira wrote:
I think I'd send a jack-in-the-box. Wearing a pope's mitre.

Or maybe a can of snakes! Whoo-hoo, the fun.

A whoopee cushion?

Send them a smoke detector with a dying battery. That'll drive em apeshit for a few days.
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#26 Apr 06 2014 at 12:23 PM Rating: Good
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