With my son due in December, I've been thinking about how I could better provide him a life unlike my parents gave me. So I was thinking instead of cycling through sh*tty low pay entry level jobs, I could join the great American armed forces. Problem is, I have no idea what to expect aside from the bits and pieces I've seen on television.
My wife is against the idea, because she thinks I'll have to move far away for years at a time and never see her again, or my son, but we've recently learned that the wives and family of military personnel can travel with them to an extent-- we just don't know what the conditions of that are or how that might work.
I'd have to say my biggest worry aside from that is what I'd need to do to prepare beforehand. I am naturally very strong and limber, but I'm out of shape due to lack of physical activity. I know the purpose of boot camp is to correct this, but I feel it would be adequate to prepare before that.
The other thing that concerns me is that I am not much of a "people person." I am not friendly or affable towards people I've never met and rarely to people I know.
My biggest hurtle yet is my massive amount of pent up anger... I don't have violent outbursts when I'm angry... instead, it takes a great deal of energy to contain it, and doing so causes my speech to become incomprehensible and I become very dizzy. I have been humiliated and wronged by rude people many times, and each time all I could think about was how easily I could kill them with just the hands I was born with, if not for the consequences, which in turn leaves me feeling helpless and depressed when they walk away unscathed and I can do nothing about it. I fear my anger will get the best of me one of these days, if it doesn't slowly kill me from the inside first. I have a bad feeling the stress involved in certain aspects of the military might be enough to undo my ability to keep myself under control.
Then again, one of the reasons I'm considering it is for a means to release all of that anger. Even now there is nothing in particular bothering me, but I can feel it somehow. I sometimes pick things up and bend or break them without thinking about it, and lately I've been waking up to excruciating pain in my chest which a doctor at the hospital tells me are panic/anxiety attacks.