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Oldie but Goodie....we can all use a little humorFollow

#1 Nov 01 2005 at 7:56 PM Rating: Excellent
The Frak wrote:
Level 62 Cleric <Quon> Looking for guild !

I know I'll make a great contribution to your guild because I've been a great member of many other guilds. If those guilds weren't so irritating I would still be helping them.

I am not in school anymore so I have a lot of time to play EQ, around 8 to 10 hours a day is pretty normal for me. So, I'll be around to group with you anytime. Even more actually, because when I take a shower or eat, I let my little sister run my toon until I get back. So if she says anything dumb, or doesn't do what she is supposed to, don't blame me for it.. She is pretty good though, she can sit/stand, she knows how to cast spells and she usually doesn't run around, so she won't get lost.

I know tons about the game and am not shy about sharing the wealth, if you know what I mean. Even though I've never been an officer in any of the guilds i've been in, I like to think I was looked up to as a mentor even by people who were higher in levels then me! If you're not playing your class right, i'll be right there to tell you what you're doing wrong so that you can improve right away. It's kinda how I give back to the peeps I hunt with. Teach a man to fish and all that stuff. I'd hope they'd do the same for me if it were possible.

I've hunted in all the best spots Norrath has to offer. Oasis, Lake of Ill Omen, Overthere, Dreadlands, Maidens, etc., I've rocked them all. I've even ventured into a few dungeons like Karnor's Castle, Velks...crazy stuff.

Lately I've been blowing up in the Planes of Power. The Hedge in PoN is the bomb. Close to a zone out and everything. It gives you an idea of how I'm rolling that I can get all the way there from the GY to hunt there though eh?

I'm looking for a situation that will reward my leet skills, time, and knowledge. You know how every guild has an uber MA? He's the guy that gets first dibs on the pimp gear that drops so the guild can get better and stuff? Well I wanna be the MC (main Cleric). I wanna be the number 1 heal slinger in the guild's Cleric stable. To be the best though, I need a committment along the same lines as the MA deal. I want first call on the nice stuff that drops when we start bringing down the big mobs. This doesn't just apply to cleric wearable gear because if it's something for a Warrior I could sell it in the bazaar and use the pp's to buy something for me.

It only makes sense that the guild twink out the MC, without the Quon the group is nothing. So why wouldn't the guild give all it's resources over to help make sure they have the most uber healer in all of Norrath? duh!

There are a few other things that I would want this guild to do to show their respect for me. Not all at once you know, but within the first few weeks. I imagine it's hard to tell everyone in a big guild what to do and whatnot, so It's cool if it takes a little while for the whole guild to get into shape. I'll put a little checklist here for easy reference.

1) Tanks should NOT get ****** off when I am trying to get them into my "Purple Club". The Purple Club is where I try to take the MA's HitPoints so low that he actually goes unconscious and then is brought right back to life. I also sometimes refer to the Purple Club as "Layed Out" because that's what happens, the tank lays down and then stands right back up. It's friggin HARD to do, I have to time the Complete Heal just right. So, WTF is up with tanks getting PO'd at me. I usually can do it about once every 11 tries or so.

2) If you have a problem with me DO NOT take it to guild chat or to the guild officers. Otherwise, I have to spend all my time trying to explain what happened and that doesn't do anyone any good. Just forget it and get back to grinding.

3) I already mentioned that I should get first call on nice drops, I just want to put it in this list for consistency and to stress the importance of the request.

4) Sometimes I have to leave a group or raid unexpectedly. Like when my mom gets on my case or some @#%$ like that. I DO NOT have the time to find a replacement for myself. Don't expect me to. Like you'd tolerate a gimp replacement anyway.

5) Enchanters, please chill on the "HEAL ME" spam when you are grouped with me. Your armor class suxxors, if there is a multi pull i have to use my DA (or Divine Aura if you didn't know) so that I don't die. I CANNOT cast heal until DA wears off so please be patient. And if I'm late...rez inc thanks.

6) If any Dots drop when hunting, I automatically get them so that if someone wants a symbol I have the component. Otherwise, if you want a symbol please open up my trade window with the correct component for the symbol that you want.

7) In addition, I'd like to ML at all times. If at the end of the session, I have more than enough to cover my weeks worth of Dot's then i'll toss out a split.

If there is a guild bank, and there should be or I rescind my application, I would like to be in charge of it. But without the baggage of the title of "Treasurer" which really understates my true stature within any guild.

9) Monks PLEASE announce when you are FD, so that I don't waste my time trying to rez you. That is sooo frickin annoying. I mean really, how hard is it to type "I am FD, do not rez".

10) Rangers, don't even get me started. They should be like my sister...seen and not heard. Seriously, I'd rather spend the mana to rez you then to heal you. You are to melle what a Druid is to healers. No offense though, I'll need you around for tracking and foraging and stuff. When you die, just automatically consent the MA and we'll drag you to our camp spot. It's just easier that way.

11) Speaking of rez, please don't send personal tells to me for a rez. There's just no way that me wasting my time is worth saving a little bit of your time. If a guildie needs a rez, please just put it in guild chat and someone will get to you. Just because im in bazaar doesn't mean I'm not busy. And just ask my last two guilds if you don't believe this, but if you call me out in chat then it's on.

12) No, you have not grouped with me before. I paid that $50 to move to this server last month, so it's very unlikely that you grouped with me in so and so Zone unless you played on Solusek Ro. This is also the reason that my equip is not that sweet yet, and the guild should help me out with some twinkage.

13) If you need a buff from me, please say my name first in the request so that I notice it. Also please write out the name of the spell instead of just the acronymn. If I'm taking the time to open my spell book, mem the spell, find you with the mouse, and cast the buff, and then un-mem the spell, the least you could do is type out the whole name so that it will help me find it faster.

14) And if you're not sure whether your gimpy HP buff will overwrite mine after i've already dropped a bunch of Dots and half a bar of my mana to cast, then freaking ask! Even better, don't cast until you know your class AND mine. Druids and Shammys i'm looking in your direction here.

15) Speaking of Druids and Shammys. I don't call my heals. I shouldn't have to cause no one else should be trying to be the Cleric but the Quon. If you think i'm interrupting my CH cause some druid is busting off gimp 3k CH's? No way...i'll still drop the big heal bomb. And then we're both out of mana.

16) I think since I'm the one keeping the puller alive when they bring back a baddy that they should show respect to me with their pull Hot Key. Example, I pull this <Target> for our great Lord <Quon>", or "<Target> has insulted the great one <Quon>, lets KEEL it !!" And it would be cool if you could use it even if i'm not there. You know, just to spread the gospel and such. Helps with recruitment i bet.

17) Pally's please use your LoH everytime that it pops, it's called "saving the Quon's mana", remember it, do it, and respect it.

1 I'm still missing a lot of spells from level 58 to 62. The guild should really help me get as many as possible. Think about it, all of my spells help YOU, not me. If you want me to help you with the improved spells then YOU should be the one getting them for me. And I may not even use most of them...but i want them just the same.

19) I have a HOT key with my email addy on it. If the @#%$ hits the fan and I have to camp out to save my ***, I ALWAYS hit that hot key. When it's safe to come back, I expect someone in the group to let me know via email. If you don't then everyone in the group immediately becomes a new entry in my personal @#%$ list. I keep that @#%$ on excel and alphabetized, so don't even think you are getting in with a group with me again if your name is on that list. Why the **** do you think I moved servers? I was finding it near impossible to get a group without running into someone on my SL. If you think this is harsh, just think about me on the other side waiting for that email to come in so I can log back. Now that's HARSH!

We all know that most Clerics are the suck. Either they're Bots or some Druid who got pwnd when PoP came out cause he couldn't solo or find a group and PL'd himself a Cleric. MC's like me are hard to come by and that's the reason for the list. Believe me there are other guilds that have expressed interest and i really owe it to <Quon> to be find the best situation in which to drop my skills.

I know most of the guilds I'm working with have an extensive application process and I respect the **** out of that. It's a good thing cause it keeps the assclowns out. But we all know that there's a secret process for instant approvals that can be used for the right situation and i'm that situation. In the 3 weeks your guild ***** around "getting to know me", I'll already be rocking the high-end content with another guild. So work fast.

My main is a 62 cleric named "Quon". Cause that's what i want..."The Quon". I want the respect, I want the platinum, I want the excitement, and I want the Wood Elf Honies all on my tip. Yeah..."The Quon". Represent.

PS...Not necessary, but it would be sweet if the guild would float me some phat platz for a little loan, because I had to empty my bank account to pay that group to get through the PoJ trials.
#2 Nov 01 2005 at 7:58 PM Rating: Good
I think this line is one of my favorites

9) Monks PLEASE announce when you are FD, so that I don't waste my time trying to rez you. That is sooo frickin annoying. I mean really, how hard is it to type "I am FD, do not rez".
#3 Nov 01 2005 at 8:37 PM Rating: Decent
man this was a good idea bringing this back.
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#4 Nov 01 2005 at 9:50 PM Rating: Excellent
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Quote:
and I want the Wood Elf Honies all on my tip.

Smiley: laugh

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#5 Nov 02 2005 at 10:16 AM Rating: Decent
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Hehe my wife plays a cleric, she's gonna laugh her rear off reading this when she gets home from work!
#6 Nov 02 2005 at 11:32 AM Rating: Decent
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My monk would use that cleric as a personal chew toy hehe.

or maybe a super train with the whole zone.

THe more i read this i makes me want to do something drastic

Edited, Wed Nov 2 11:56:56 2005 by galthran

Edited, Wed Nov 2 12:23:07 2005 by galthran
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#7 Nov 02 2005 at 10:17 PM Rating: Good
This guy actually started his own forum at one point. I wonder if it's still active.
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#8 Nov 02 2005 at 10:26 PM Rating: Decent
Haha, hadn't seen that before.

For another example of complete arrogance in humor, visit Acts of Gord. Seems Quon was based off him a bit!

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#9 Nov 03 2005 at 12:15 AM Rating: Decent
LMAO!

Funniest thing I've read in a long time.
#10 Nov 03 2005 at 3:32 PM Rating: Decent
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Is this a actually serious post? Dont remember ever seeing it. But wow what a cleric, guess I woulda had to tell him what dots I was casting and when they did xxx amount of dmg along with my slow cast and % eh
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#11 Nov 03 2005 at 3:46 PM Rating: Good
It's only real if you believe.
#12 Nov 03 2005 at 11:21 PM Rating: Default
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Admin Edit: This does not belong on a post linked from the main site.

Edited, Fri Nov 4 07:05:15 2005 by Railus
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#13 Nov 04 2005 at 12:45 AM Rating: Decent
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The Quon was around when I started playing. Read it as EQ satire. I think his forum closed awhile ago.

And some people need to lighten up. This is obviously meant as humor
#14 Nov 04 2005 at 12:50 AM Rating: Decent
11 posts
All I can say about this is... if this guy was REALLY serious about what he wrote..I HOPE he killed himself and ended his horrible ignorant, conceded life. And if it was just a joke...then GREAT job for making me laugh and want to beat someones face in at the same time!
#15 Nov 04 2005 at 1:00 AM Rating: Default
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after careful consideration I rescinded any statments due to unwanted trolls, "why be a hateA"


Edited, Fri Nov 4 01:21:09 2005 by Fjalarr

Edited, Fri Nov 4 01:58:13 2005 by Fjalarr
#16 Nov 04 2005 at 1:38 AM Rating: Excellent
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Whipah wrote:
All I can say about this is... if this guy was REALLY serious about what he wrote..I HOPE he killed himself and ended his horrible ignorant, conceded life. And if it was just a joke...then GREAT job for making me laugh and want to beat someones face in at the same time!

Is it really that hard to recognize satire in the written form? Honestly now, this is ridiculous, not to mention a bit extreme.

Have a Coke and a smile and shut the **** up.

Edited, Fri Nov 4 06:54:29 2005 by Railus
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#17 Nov 04 2005 at 4:31 AM Rating: Decent
13 posts
Lol someone has to much time on there hands.
#18 Nov 04 2005 at 7:22 AM Rating: Decent
22 posts
What a loser lol, i would let him join my guild if i had him apply just to laugh at him and see how mad he could get than i would out heal him on my drood hands down and he would whine and quit. that was good though
#19 Nov 04 2005 at 9:22 AM Rating: Decent
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/sigh I guess people need to go back to literature classes in school. This is satire. It's not serious. It's meant to be funny. What were you people doing in school when this was being taught?
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#20 Nov 04 2005 at 10:21 AM Rating: Decent
6 posts
Is it really that hard to recognize satire in the written form? Honestly now, this is ridiculous, not to mention a bit extreme.

I have actually seen like this, so it's not total satire, there is some honesty to the statement, but that was many many moons ago.
#21 Nov 04 2005 at 10:26 AM Rating: Decent
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I doubt anyone would actually last in the game truly acting like that it's just funny to say what "if".
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#22 Nov 04 2005 at 10:46 AM Rating: Decent
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No, no. It's serious. I grouped with this guy on the Sol Ro server.

He wiped us non-stop. A group of monks finally got together and trained him 24-7 til he left the server.

Not really.

The Quon website was funny as ****, though.

My favorite part is the Purple Club part.
#23 Nov 04 2005 at 10:48 AM Rating: Decent
14 posts
Xaltinye wrote:
/sigh I guess people need to go back to literature classes in school. This is satire. It's not serious. It's meant to be funny. What were you people doing in school when this was being taught?


You are assuming these people went to school:-p

I've known clerics that aren't QUITE that bad but close, I can see where he got the idea from. Being a warrior that is the member of MANY purple clubs I had to LMAO at that one, 1 out of 11 is pretty good!!

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Warrior on Drinal
#24 Nov 04 2005 at 10:49 AM Rating: Decent
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the guy must have mee 8 years old then. If it is real it's still funny
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#25 Nov 04 2005 at 10:51 AM Rating: Good
Quote:
Is this a actually serious post?


Ya the Quon showed up on Caster's realm a while back. He actually tried to play himself off as serious for awhile and made a few of these types of posts. Got quite a few people into a tizzy
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#26 Nov 04 2005 at 10:52 AM Rating: Decent
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Quote:
19) I have a HOT key with my email addy on it. If the @#%$ hits the fan and I have to camp out to save my ***, I ALWAYS hit that hot key. When it's safe to come back, I expect someone in the group to let me know via email. If you don't then everyone in the group immediately becomes a new entry in my personal @#%$ list. I keep that @#%$ on excel and alphabetized, so don't even think you are getting in with a group with me again if your name is on that list. Why the **** do you think I moved servers? I was finding it near impossible to get a group without running into someone on my SL. If you think this is harsh, just think about me on the other side waiting for that email to come in so I can log back. Now that's HARSH!



isn't that why we have to wait 2 mins to log back in? LOL
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#27 Nov 04 2005 at 11:27 AM Rating: Default
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WANT MORE OF THE QUON ?

Go to www.eqclerics.com where you can read the posts of the children of Quon , honies and homey posse ; all that and a bag of chips web site.

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#28 Nov 04 2005 at 1:38 PM Rating: Decent
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funny thing is when Sol Ro merged with Bristlebane all the clerics I grouped with had this problem. They did not seem to know how to heal worth a crap... for example I was in PoV(outer) with my 60 SK and a guildie was boxing his 60 Ranger and his 63 Shammy and we had a few others in group dont remember what. anyway ranger was pulling and he was healing and slowing with his shammy with no probs he kept mobs comming, we had a spot open and a 58 cleric popped in zone LFG we grabbed her. needless to say on the 2nd mob I died and I was like wtf. so she rezzed and we tried again and on 4th mob I was dead again I was like wtf she apologized and rezzed again about this time a lvl 70 cleric from my guild popped in to buff and chat so we proceded to pull again and on first pull she nearly killed me if it wasnt for my lvl 70 cleric guildie stitting there watching and hit me with a quick heal.. well to make along story short we had simular results with other clerics from Sol Ro so for the longest time if a cleric from Sol Ro was lfg they didnt get invites, eventually I got to where I would trust them and allow them to heal for me again.
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#29 Nov 04 2005 at 2:02 PM Rating: Default
9 posts
I just love how some folks feel totally justified to rip other people up. Here's a novel idea... instead of telling other people to "shut the @#%^ up" as Overlord Demea so eloquently put it, why don't you just follow your own advice?
#30 Nov 04 2005 at 2:41 PM Rating: Decent
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are any of us being totally serious here any how? I mean who in their RIGHT mind would take this for real any how. Even if or apparrently ther actually is someone who acts this way they would get laughed out of most any guild in the game.
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#31 Nov 04 2005 at 3:11 PM Rating: Decent
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Oh my....Long live Quon and the Purple Club he started in my guild!

I remember seeing this and his forum ages ago when PoP was new. Was good then, and is good seeing it again!
#32 Nov 04 2005 at 4:20 PM Rating: Decent
This is an application found this morning on out boards. We are a CoA guild...

Hello I am a level 52 bst interested in joining XXX. I have all expansions except PoP, GoD, OOW, DoN and DoD. I currently have 2 aa's. With my current schedule I can get about an aa every 4 hours or so in velks killing spiders with my pet. With this I figure I can get aa's pretty fast, although I will start getting regular xp soon to level up. I am currently maxing out Innate Int so I can get more mana for slows and dots. Here is my magleo: http://www.magelo.com/eq_view_profile.html?num=1262022
My gear is pretty good, considering I can solo about 5 velks spiders in a row before I have to med. I currently have no flags and no sigs. I will start farming sigs asap though I just need to know where to get em. I also have alot of velk silks from all my farming and also a Dojo axe from a dojo pickup raid that I am willing to trade for sigs. That is about it, please send me at tell in game so I can further my recruitment. Thanks!
#33 Nov 04 2005 at 4:33 PM Rating: Decent
27 posts
OMG ROFLMAO

yeah... want THAT beastlord in my group :0)

Edited, Fri Nov 4 16:43:31 2005 by Masterbob
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#34 Nov 04 2005 at 4:40 PM Rating: Decent
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whats funnier the post or the fact that ppl ACTUALLY take it seriously?some ppl just want to make any funny/interesting/knowledgable post into a rant/flame post.BUT if there werent any dumb ppl i guess clerics would be out of a job(im sooooooooo gonna get flamed lol) /flame on u sons of motherless gnolls!!!!!!!!
#35 Nov 04 2005 at 4:47 PM Rating: Decent
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Wow now that beastie is a mad twink! I wish i had 172 ac at lvl 51 LOL. Holy cow only 172 ac? That's awesome. hehe. Wait a minuet.... nice haste belt hehe

Edited, Fri Nov 4 16:58:18 2005 by galthran
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#36 Nov 04 2005 at 5:51 PM Rating: Decent
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very nice, only to really put peeps off and make it far more believable you should have muffed up the spelling a bit more. noone that stupid would be able to spell that well or have any clue of proper punctuation. dam funny tho. ^^
#37 Nov 04 2005 at 5:59 PM Rating: Decent
He managed to post a Magelo link. I'd say recruit him already!
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#38 Nov 04 2005 at 11:45 PM Rating: Decent
Okay I made this joke up. It is silly, it makes me laugh, but possibly you will just think me a dork...

What did the Necro say to the Cleric?
(I dunno, what did the necro say to the Cleric?)

If I told you you had great virtues, would your hold them against me?

Then what did the Cleric say to the Necro?
(I dunno...)
No thank you, I have my convictions.

LMBO... told ya I am just a dork.
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#39 Nov 05 2005 at 12:44 AM Rating: Decent
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1.why did the ranger cross the road?he couldnt tank the chiken.2.(an oldy)3 rangers walk into a bard ....LOADING PLEASE WAIT.3.whats the difference between a druid and a ranger?one uses mana to port the other uses xp.4.(a bard joke i heard while on my bard)whats the hardest thing about being a bard?telling your folks your ***.....*bows*
#40 Nov 05 2005 at 10:25 AM Rating: Decent
14 posts
Dioren wrote:
1.why did the ranger cross the road?he couldnt tank the chiken.2.(an oldy)3 rangers walk into a bard ....LOADING PLEASE WAIT.3.whats the difference between a druid and a ranger?one uses mana to port the other uses xp.4.(a bard joke i heard while on my bard)whats the hardest thing about being a bard?telling your folks your ***.....*bows*

ROFLMAO LOved the bard joke!! can't wait to log on and use it!!!

Q. How can you tell if a ranger's been in your house?

A. The cat is camping his corpse.
#41 Nov 06 2005 at 5:03 AM Rating: Decent
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We should pair up Skatergnome with this guy.

Maybe throw in that PvP Bard, what was his name, Fansy?

Ah, to be a fly on a wall during that group....

Smiley: lol
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#42 Nov 06 2005 at 11:25 AM Rating: Decent
1 post
OMG! It's the EQ AntiChrist.... wtf... rofl
#43 Nov 07 2005 at 11:54 AM Rating: Decent
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We should pair up Skatergnome with this guy.


If I remember, The Quon did write a piece ripping the **** out of Skater Gnome, and Skater Gnome wrote a piece about the Quon.
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#44 Nov 07 2005 at 12:01 PM Rating: Good
Quote:
very nice, only to really put peeps off and make it far more believable you should have muffed up the spelling a bit more. noone that stupid would be able to spell that well or have any clue of proper punctuation. dam funny tho. ^^


case in point.
#45 Nov 07 2005 at 12:03 PM Rating: Good
Quote:
If I remember, The Quon did write a piece ripping the **** out of Skater Gnome, and Skater Gnome wrote a piece about the Quon.


I'll have to find that. I'd like to see it.
#46 Nov 07 2005 at 1:08 PM Rating: Decent
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Hard to find the Skater Gnome thing as the site is down. Here is some more Quon though.

http://p216.ezboard.com/fquon91516frm8
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#47 Nov 07 2005 at 1:11 PM Rating: Good
I've found that before, unfortunatley, most of the links are broken and the posts missing.

Some of these older stories are getting harder and harder to find :( It's too bad, they were VERY funny, and much better than any stories folks come up with today.
#48 Nov 07 2005 at 1:21 PM Rating: Decent
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this is good entertainment no doubt. Maybe he'll stop by and flame us again sometime
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#49 Nov 10 2005 at 1:13 AM Rating: Decent
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some of skaters stuff http://eq.crgaming.com/skater/default.asp . this one has is i guess a link to links that link u to funny stuff 0.o http://www.theinsanity.net/everquest/humor/ enjoy.

Edited, Thu Nov 10 01:45:43 2005 by Dioren
#50 Nov 11 2005 at 12:32 PM Rating: Decent
14 posts
here is another funny one I copied off of EQDruids.com
NO THIS IS NOT REAL
but it's funny as all get out.............

LOADING, PLEASE WAIT...
You have entered Denny's.
You say, 'Hail Denny's hostess'
Denny's hostess says 'Hello, Tyranadin. Welcome to Denny's. [Smoking] or [non-smoking]?'
You say, 'non-smoking'
You say, 'I would like non-smoking please'
You say, 'what about non-smoking'
Denny's hostess says 'Right this way, please.'
You are out of food and drink.
Erlen shouts, 'has anyone seen the waiter?'
Daegarmo shouts, 'no and ive been camping him for a half hour'
You are out of food and drink.
Ester shouts, 'I see him'
Erlen shouts, 'dont kill him, i still have to do the order quest'
You are hungry.
You are thirsty.
You are out of food and drink.
You say, 'Hail Denny's waiter'
Denny's waiter says 'Hello, Tyranadin. You look like you could use some [coffee]'
You say, 'Yes I'll have some coffee'
You say, 'what about coffee'
Denny's waiter says 'Ah, excellent! We have [regular] and [decaf].'
You say, 'I will have some decaf'
You say, 'what about decaf'
You say, 'what about decaffeinated coffee'
Denny's waiter says 'I expected nothing less of you. Here, take this.'
You gain experience!
Your faction standing with Juan Valdez got better
You drink your coffee.
You were hit by non-melee for 39 dmg
YOU are burning!
You shout, 'Ow hehe this coffee's hot'
Kyrani shouts, 'Haha u sux0r'
You are hungry.
You are out of food.
Annoying kid says 'Pikachuuuuuu'
Annoying kid tries to hit YOU, but misses!
Annoying kid tries to hit YOU, but misses!
Annoying kid hits YOU for 3 points of damage.
Auto-attack on.
You hit Annoying kid for 17 points of damage.
You hit Annoying kid for 22 points of damage.
You have slain Annoying kid!
Your faction standing with Disciplineless Mothers got worse
Your faction standing with Denny's Customers got better
Your faction standing with The World at Large got better
Annoying kid's corpse0 says 'My mother will avenge my death!'
You receive 3 copper as your split.
You are hungry.
You are out of food.
Disciplineless mother says 'Your actions and history are a personal affront to all I stand for.'
Disciplineless mother begins casting a spell.
Disciplineless mother pet is enveloped in flames.
Off-duty police officer says 'Hey! No pets in the building!'
Disciplineless mother pet hits YOU for 18 points of damage.
Off-duty police officer hits Disciplineless mother for 287 points of damage.
Off-duty police officer hits Disciplineless mother for 234 points of damage.
Off-duty police officer kicks Disciplineless mother for 27 points of damage.
Disciplineless mother is slain by Off-duty police officer!
Disciplineless mother pet hits YOU for 12 points of damage.
Off-duty police officer hits Disciplineless mother pet for 262 points of damage.
Off-duty police officer was burned.
Disciplineless mother pet is slain by Off-duty police officer!
Off-duty police officer says 'Let this be a lesson, that none can withstand the wrath of the San Diego Department of Public Safety.'
You are hungry.
You are out of food.
You say, 'Hail Denny's waiter'
Denny's waiter says 'Can I get you some more [coffee]?'
You say, 'No, I want to place my order'
You say, 'Can I place my order?'
You say, 'Let me place my order dammit!'
Denny's waiter says 'Ah, would you like to try our [Grand Slam Breakfast]?'
You say, 'I will have the grand slam breakfast'
Denny's waiter says 'How would you like your [eggs]?'
You say, 'scrambled'
You say, 'I would like them scrambled'
You say, 'what about eggs'
Denny's waiter says 'You can have [scrambled eggs] or [fried eggs].'
You say, 'I will have scrambled eggs'
Denny's waiter says 'Excellent, would you like anything to drink? Some [orange juice], perhaps?'
You say, 'I will have orange juice'
You say, 'what about orange juice'
Denny's waiter says 'Our orange juice is fresh squeezed from concentrate.'
You say, 'give me orange juice'
Denny's waiter says 'Okay, I'll be right back with your orange juice.'
You gain experience!
You are hungry.
You are out of food.
Gordon shouts, 'Attention, your bacon is now raw, because fully-cooked bacon lacks the inherent risks associated with our Vision of Bacon.'
Valshire shouts, 'Wait a minute, this bacon hasn't been cooked for months'
Gordon shouts, 'Uhh... yes it has.'
Tunso shouts, 'You kidding? We've been complaining about this stuff being raw for ages'
Gordon shouts, 'Uh, whatever.'
Gordon shouts, 'Oh.'
Gordon shouts, 'uh.... I've just been informed that the bacon has been raw for several months now, but we were unable to determine this until we fixed a bug with the pancakes, which were previously large enough to obscure the bacon.'
Gordon shouts, '... Oh, yeah, we nerfed your pancakes too.'
Denny's waiter says 'Here is your breakfast, Tyranadin.'
You gain experience!
Your faction standing with Denny's Customers got worse
Scrambled eggs looks at you threateningly - what would you like your tombstone to say?
You taste your eggs.
You are chilled to the bone.
You shout, 'oh man my eggs are cold'
Tunso shouts, 'petition a manager then'
You petition, 'my scrambled eggs are cold'
Raynara shouts, 'Ack train to restroom!!!'
Aikbach says, 'Cailleach, I still can't believe you can eat this stuff'
Denny's waiter says 'Here is your breakfast, Cailleach.'
Cailleach begins to cast a spell.
Cailleach is protected from poison.
Cailleach says, 'I always come prepared'
You shout, 'Man, where's the manager'
Kyrani shouts, 'Haha u pteitond a managr u sux0r'
Napoca tells you, 'Greetings, Tyranadin, I am Napoca, the Denny's manager. How can I assist you?'
You tell Napoca, 'my scrambled eggs are cold'
Napoca tells you, 'I will be with you as soon as possible, please stay patient'
You sip your coffee.
A cool breeze slips through your mind.
Napoca says, 'Greetings, Tyranadin. Are your eggs still cold?'
You say, 'yes'
Napoca begins to cast a spell.
Scrambled eggs burst into flame.
Napoca says, 'Take care'
Elionia says, 'Ack, I don't feel so well'
Elionia begins to cast a spell.
Alka-Seltzer staggers.
Elionia staggers.
Elionia beams a smile at Alka-Seltzer.
Elionia says, 'Ahhh, I feel much better now...'
Denny's waiter says 'Here, let me clear that away for you.'
You say, 'Hey, wait, that's my food, I'm not done yet....'
You shout, 'Hey, this waiter took my food'
Erlen shouts, 'Yep, they do that sometimes if you let your food sit there'
You say, 'Hail Denny's waiter'
Denny's waiter says 'Hello there, Tyranadin, how can I help you?'
You say, 'Check please'
Denny's waiter says 'Okay, here you go.'
You gain experience!
You say, 'Hail Denny's cashier'
Denny's cashier says 'Hello there, would you like to pay your [check]?'
You say, 'Yes I want to pay my check'
You say, 'what about my check'
Denny's cashier says 'You must give me the check before I can reveal more to you.'
Denny's cashier says 'Ah, excellent! Would you like to know your [total]?'
You gain experience!
Your faction standing with Denny's Cashiers got better
You say, 'what is my total'
Denny's cashier says 'Your total is 6 gold, 7 silver, 9 copper. Will you be paying with a [MasterCard]?'
You say, 'yes I will use a mastercard'
Denny's cashier says 'Unfortunately your MasterCard is over-limit. Would you prefer to pay with [cash]?'
Your faction standing with MasterCard got worse
Your faction standing with Cheesy-*** High-Interest-Rate Credit Card Companies got better
You say, 'yes I will pay with cash'
Denny's cashier says 'Your total is 6 gold, 7 silver, 9 copper then.'
You gain experience!
You receive 2 silver.
You receive 1 copper.
Denny's waiter says 'You have stiffed me on my tip for the last time!'
Denny's waiter crushes YOU for 217 points of damage!
Denny's waiter crushes YOU for 204 points of damage!
Denny's waiter hits YOU for 226 points of damage!
Denny's waiter tries to hit YOU, but misses!
Denny's waiter bashes YOU for 74 points of damage!
You are stunned.
Denny's waiter crushes YOU for 189 points of damage!
You are bleeding to death!
Denny's waiter crushes YOU for 221 points of damage!
You have been slain by Denny's waiter!
You are no longer stunned.
LOADING, PLEASE WAIT...
You have entered Verant.
You shout, 'Can I get a SOW? My corpse is all the way over in Denny's'
Kyrani shouts, 'Haha u sux0r'


#51 Jul 10 2011 at 2:21 PM Rating: Default
Bump
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-Worthy Iam. Battle Cleric and Pinata of Many mobs, Lanys Server originally, now on Polvar.
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