Rants, Raves, and Humor from an EQ RangerFollow

The following is the start of Rants and Raves from an EQ Ranger. You are *free* to add to it titling your subject the following is Rants and Raves from an EQ <insert class here>


1. EQ should insert the "Ocarina of Time" looting the chest music every time you pick up a uber item on a raid. As its held high above your head, fellow members of your class will spit and curse all the more. ( dona nona dona nona dona nona DUH DUH DUH!!)

2. Every female character that is on your friends list for six months or more that later tells you their real name is " John or Petey" should be <insert own punishment here>


3. Every character on a Naggy raid that receives a "uber item" because they are replacing their "tattered cloth" something or other should be shot on principle for attending a Naggy raid with a "tattered cloth" something or other in the first place. If thats the way need before greed is going to work, my ranger will wear a potatoe sack next time. ( This actually happened recently. She cried and thanked everyone. ***** you sloth. Get off your lazy *** and do your newbie quests.)

4. Build a staricase up to Kelethin. Their is nothing worse then watching a noob push down the handle as you are 5 feet from reaching the ramp.

5. If your going to beg and beg and beg the zone for a SOW, don't run off like a mime after you get one. Not funny marcel Marceau.

6. ALWAYS grovel and publically /ooc thank the tailor that hands you a "Fleeting Quiver". -----whereas, 20 seconds before that you were meekly and slowly handing over the components. Lesson? It pays to sometimes have faith in strangers.

7. Recruiting officers in guilds are usually the Sergeant Shultz's of Everquest. They are doing the long drawn out legwork of the real life Hardee's manager guild leader. They are normally between 16 to 25 years in age. They have never experienced real power over another human being, and their illusions of grandeur are usually halted every other hour by their real life parents asking them "Are you going to get a job today?" Don't give in to these dummies.

*NOTE*---I said usually here, not everytime. Sometmes their guild leader works for Arby's.

8. Leaders are made not born. There is a reason very few guilds have succesfully raided the Plane of Time. The ability to spot a good leader comes in examples of self-less acts. They are the warriors that knowingly fall to give the rest of the group a 15 second head start to the zoneline. They are the clerics who cast that last "Heal" instead of "Gate". They are the druids who make a macro and use it AFTER the snare lands.
Unfortunatly though for a majority of the guilds, their leaders work the other shifts at Arby's.


---side note--- feel free to add to the fun, it must be funny though. If your going to post a critism you could be doing other things with your time. Like ENSURING there is cheese in the bag with my twisty fries.

very funny stuff. i think this is my favorite.



that would be so great. lol

11) To every puller who doesn't understand what OOM or LOM means, this deaths to you! You'd better be able to heal yourself or mez the adds cause I think I've got just enough mana to cover Gate. =) Love that level 4 spell, I don't get to use it much which is good, but when I do, it just takes a second to mem and "Then med faster" is usually enough warning that it's time to mem it. =)

13) People who want to act as a different class in a group than they actually are (or worse don't even KNOW what their class can do). The clerics who won't heal, the shammys that won't slow or buff, the chanters who won't mez, and on it goes (unless these folks are fighting with a number 11, then they have an excuse).

Love the comment that it is time to load gate when you are told to med faster.

Anyone who gates on my group while a fight is still going on will not be joining a group of mine ever again.

14) God players - The ones who go on endlessly about how they are the lynchpin of the group, how their uber-leet skills are the reason their group succeeds. Until the group wipes, then all they can rage about is how player X didn't do his or her job, so that's why they all died.

Maybe this is just a one time phenomenon, but it has definitely made my "This really is no good" list.
I was in HHK camping the warrior room when SURPRISE everyone starting talking about how uber their equipment was. Okay, par for the course I thought, but then they decided to start playing a game of hide and seek. Not just any old game of hide and seek mind you but an ooc-spamming, "If someone finds me in 5 seconds I will give you a Copper hammer of striking", kind of hide and seek. Needless to say the WR would empty out with people dashing after said fool and leave me and one healer-type in there medding. Not only was ooc being spammed with this, but then it was filled with
"No way d00d!! I find you in 5 seconds gimme dat hammer!"
"NO you didn't! you were .5 seconds late, TOOOO bad suxx0r fr you!"
"AHHHHHHHHHHHH YOU SUXX0R!!!1!!11!!"
All the while poor little paladin and cleric are sitting in an empty room that's about 10 seconds away from popping.
SURPRISE!
A Picklaw Cabalist begins to cast a spell
So I say "POP guys, maybe you should get down here!"
So in a heroic sprint the rest of the group VALIANTLY strides into the WR bring the entire GR and about 4 guards with them.
(Another side note: Please don't **** the guards off if you're still low level enough to camp the goblins)
Needless to say the group was wiped and I was left running naked through kithicor forest at 2 am.
so the point is:

Insert number here)Stop playing graba$$ and stay in the place you're supposed to camp now matter how uber your gear is.

Mulamen 31 Paladin
Quellious

Especially as the CHoS has just been nerfed to pretty much uselessness.

Lariatha, I was actually talking about a particular cleric who would never zone when things were hopeless. I remember a time back in Karnor's Castle where we had somehow pulled the whole basement up to the courtyard, the 'chanter had a resist on the first mezz and got beat down in half a second, and I'm there trying to keep the mobs off the cleric so he can run for the zone and be alive to come back and rezz...

Guess I shouldn't have generalized and made a not to all clerics at the end lol. But I've always been of the mindset that the cleric should survive at all costs. Even if that means me standing and dying while the cleric makes a beeline for the zone.

My apologies. I wasn't flaming towards you :) Just venting