Some good one liners I've heard recently...Follow

These are mostly from LDoN missions I will admit;

Enchanter: Sheesh these mobs are resisting everything I cast.
Cleric: Are you Tashing?
Enchanter: No, I don't have room for the spell!

Beastlord: Boy, I really need that Aug, lets roll now (after a +4 Agility augment had dropped).
Groupmember_01: Why do you want that so bad?
Beastlord: It increases my AC and makes me run faster!

MA_01: Paci please, room is full.
Cleric: I cant pacify it uses too much mana.
MA procedes to pull, multiple mobs arrive in camp, the Cleric and Druid go Oom trying to keep everyone alive.

MA_01 groupleader: Hmm, the Druid is 46 and the cleric is 44, so Druid you are main healer, Cleric you patch heal and back him up.

(The cheeky cleric could not help himself and said "no probs, I will nuke and stun for CC as well!")

The scene is set deep under the sands of the Oasis of Mar. A hardy band of adventurers are battling hordes of vicious beasts and goblins, the Enchter_01 is running hither and thither doing what? Only she knows best.

Enchanter_01 dies for the third time.

Cleric_01: (After performing her third resurection of the Enchanter) Sorry you died again, but I couldn't heal you fast enough.
Enchanter_01: Don't worry about it. No Cleric, no mattter how much mana they have can keep me alive! (Said with a proud tone to her voice).

Mage_01: (Upon entering the dungeon) I never nuke it wastes my mana, I just use my pet.

MA_01: (As Beastlord arrives to join the group) Oh, good the BL is here, I love Beastlords they are so powerful. Now all we need is a Slower!

Necro_01: Cleric! DON'T heal me!
a few seconds later...
Necro_01: Heal me! Heal me!







Edited, Mon Jan 26 21:59:29 2004 by Iluien

This is hillarious! :))


One from one of my own LDoN with the now deleted Rogue-->

Me to the Groupleader after the Cleric died: "I feel ashamed - he used his last mana to save my live before he got killed himself"
Groupleader: "He's not too bright...."

Edited, Mon Jan 26 22:12:54 2004 by Leiany

One from a Butcherblock adventure:

Mt to group: oh dont worry...the Necro can slow and do CC.
Me: Uh...Ok....(proceed to pull the next 31 spiders,rats and gorefeeders)
Mt:So when are you gonna start slowing or mezzing these things?
Me:As soon as you find me an Undead mob i would be happy to.

(10 mobs later...first undead mob pops up with two of his friends...The other two arent undead...two shadewatchers)
Me:Mezzing a Trueborn bloodprowler! NO TOUCHIE
Mt: Assist me on a Trueborn bloodprowler
(shadewatchers proceed to eat the cleric)

Suprisingly enough we succeeded on that mission....only because we had a good druid.

Hehe has happened to me on occasion, youd think that clerics got it by now:
1 mob in camp and necro gets brief moment of aggro because of slow and takes 4 hits = dont heal.
7 mobs in camp necro only CC in group and has choice of either keep refreshing mezzes or tap life back for the odd resists = ok to heal.

My own blunder:
Aknok in nro ldon:"Pfft normal you dont need CC, i can pull this easy"
2 secs later
LOADING PLEASE WAIT ...

Forgot prior visit was
BST, SHM, PAL, WAR, CLE, NEC
not
WAR, MAG, WIZ, ROG, CLE, NEC

I quite like having a Druid main healer for LDoNs (obviously not if there is a cleric in the group).

Me, cleric, and a pally. A pally pulled way too many in Skyfire one night. We turned to run and the cleric was out of site and her bar had just went dark re, for zoning. I hear the cleric say, "have you put down the speed-bump, hun?",and the pally says "must..huf..outrun..huff...the chanter..". After I zoned into BW the cleric says "well you are crowd control".
I dont know, I thought it was funny. Guess it's a "ya had to be there" things *shrug*

Happened just last night

Group consisted of Me(Shaman), Cleric, Shadowknight, Wizard, Necro, and Druid.

We're trying to figure out how the pulling should work (read, trying to explain to the cleric that he needs to pac while the Shadowknight pulls) when the cleric says "I've been on over 300 adventures and this is a very weak group."

While I'm typing like mad trying to explain to him that if he just pacifies the shadowknight can pull, the Shadowknight says, "huh, I don't see your name on the leaderboard."

After some exchange the cleric left in disgust, and as lfg while we quit the dungeon and found another group member (Pally) and the druid healed, and we had a successful dungeon.

My necro once asked, "Is it more insulting to heal the cleric that wasted all her mana healing me, or to twitch the other necro who would rather use clarity over Call of Bones?"

My ranger often states: "We don't need a slower, I can slow with my Swarmcaller. Kind of. Sometimes. Anyone got a dex buff?"

Well, this is not a one-liner, but...

We were on an LDoN crawl. I'm a druid, but this was pre-CH for me and I was busy on snares and roots and nukes and such. We had a cleric that was several levels higher than any of us, so we all thought everything was fine.

First indication was that the cleric was nuking on most of the encounters. That was bad enough, but when she started meleeing as well I thought we might have a problem. Our tank seemed to be getting pretty low on health a lot and I started trying to heal him as much as possible. I mentioned this to the cleric several times and asked her to start healing him sooner. The odd thing about all this is that the cleric was almost totally silent. I can't remember her saying anything other than yes or no.

Well, as always, we finally had a bad pull, with about 4 or 5 adds. As agreed, the MA called evac and I hit my macro which started the LS cast. My macro notifies all group members in caps that LS in incoming and adds a couple of yells so members can orient themselves to me and gather before the LS hits. The evac hit JUST in time and five of us evac-ed successfullly, although all of us were under 5 percent health. The cleric did not get picked up in the LS so we were trying to /tell her so she could run back...we could see her health bar dropping. Just then she came running around the corner, bringing about 15 mobs with her. Killed every one of us except for her, and she zoned with about 40 percent health. Turns out she had fled as soon as she saw the bad pull, had not cast even a single heal, and had spent the intervening time wandering into areas that were not cleared so she could gather enough help to kill us all.

Well, I am laughing about it now, but it was not very funny then. We decided that we would abandon the mission, if you can believe that.

One good thing, though. The successful evac to the zone-in made corpse recovery easy...

Flewid Stumbledore
Druid on Terris-Thule. Only PC that demands written recommendations for clerics. :-))

mage_01: Hey, do these guys see invis?
ranger_01: Dunno. Go check.
mage_01 zones in.
ranger_01: You ok?
(pause 150)
mage_01: Yeah. They see invis.
mage_01(ooc): Anyone got a sow for CR?

mage_01 (group leader): Ok, we just need a warrior and we are off.
me: or a knight. Any tank will do.
mage_01: Bah, knights can't hold aggro as good as a warrior.
necro_01: LMAO
shaman_01: LOL
cleric_01: OMG your such a n00b.
me: umm, huh?
mage_01: bah, trust me. I hate grouping with paladins.
me: pally incoming.
mage_01 has left the group

I did a BB LDON a while back, a low 30's group, we had a monk(me), SK, Bard, Ranger, Druid, and Chanter. Well, the Druid didn't heal, the chanter didn't pac (or either didn't know how to), and the druid would not even respond to group chat when people asked for buffs or heals. Everyone died at least once, and some even died twice, and the chanter just never came back to the group after dying for a third time. Well, the druid gets caught ninja looting and gets the boot from the group. So we are stuck with a monk, sk, bard, and ranger, and funny thing is, nobody died after that and we actually did better. Never seen anything like it.

Well I had this through guildchat but someone was telling the guild they were in an LDoN with a rogue wanting to roll on a Mana Aug. When challenged on why they wanted it they said they had to have mana or their procs would not work.


My all time favourite (for older readers) is

MA: HoS has Gone
Cleric: Oh No. Bonanza will never be the same.

And recently I was grouped with a demented pulling shaman whose incoming message was
"Badger,Badger,Badger,Badger,Badger,Badger,Badger,Badger,< %t >, < %t >"

I suppose it takes all sorts

And some of us will always be tortoised by nightmares.