You say, 'Hail, Ardak McMahon'
Ardak McMahon says 'Hail to yeh _____, welcome to the finest bar in all o' known history... Well, at least the finest bar in the outskirts of Knowledge! What better place to ease your spirit with a bit o' [spirits] than in the department of games and [homes]?'
You say, 'Spirits?'
Ardak McMahon says 'Spirits my good friend, spirits, a drink aptly named fer its effect on yer soul! I've the finest selection of drinks this side o' Brell's cask, but I'm sure he don't take kindly to sharing his ale with no one! Just ask about any drink I have and I shall give yeh its history.'
You say, 'Brandy?'
Ardak McMahon says 'Aye, arguably the finest drink around. Each glass is kept warm in a sealed box of Gnomish Heat Sources until served. Sip it slowly and enjoy the woody aroma. Each bottle I carry has been carefully selected from the finest brewers in Antonica. Those elves have no idea how to make the stuff!''
You say, 'Dzarn's Draught?'
Ardak McMahon says 'Ah the Draught, now here's a truly fine drink. Named fer an admittedly insane Teir`Dal who thought he could make peace with the Efreeti. Each sip of this stuff will burn yer throat like lava from the caves of Solusek!'
You say, 'Frozen Toe Rum?'
Ardak McMahon says 'Yar, Frozen Toe Rum, imported direct from Halas. Despite its name, it is best served room temperature. It got its name from its warming effects. Adventurers were so convinced they were warm they'd return home with frozen toes!' The Barbarian cackles, 'Always drink in moderation, so yeh'll have some fer later!''
You say, 'Gator Gulp Ale?'
Ardak McMahon says 'Eh, I carry the stuff as a favor to ol' Shady. He and that Bubar fellow swear by it. I'm not much of a fan, but then again, it comes on recommendation from people who're hawking meat pies in the desert and 'well-balanced' axes that couldn't fell a sapling!''
You say, 'McKallister's Fire Brew?'
Ardak McMahon says 'Hmm, this one's a bit of a mystery. I've only heard second hand of McKallister's legacy. They say he left Halas as a child, traveled to the Frigid Planes and returned home with the shin-bone of a giant unlike anything the locals had ever seen. The bone stood in his home until he grew to be a respectable old man. One day when he was nearing the end of his time on our mortal plane, he took the bone and traveled out to the frozen river that runs through our hunting fields. In a frenzied rage he smashed his now ancient artifact against the ice, breaking open a fishing-hole and shattering the bone into indiscernible shards. No one's quite sure what happened to him after that day...'
You say, 'Soothsayer's Inspiration?'
Ardak McMahon says 'Few creatures that practice the shamanic arts ever achieve the status of Soothsayer. There's not much to say about this drink other than it'll help yeh along that path, or throw yeh right on yer backside if you ain't an experienced connoisseur.'
You say, 'Souj's Angry Ice Lager?'
Ardak McMahon says 'Illusionist Souj Phesh was said to be one of the loudest little men to lead an army in recent history. His crowning achievement came on the day he gave up the fruitless pursuit of war and began perfecting the noble art of brewin'! He somehow managed to distill the bitter dark rage in his heart into something truly useful, a drink that'll make yeh see double.'
You say, 'Homes?'
Ardak McMahon says 'Homes, truly yer second most value possession next to a fine bottle o' brandy I say! I've a selection of crates yeh can use to hold a bit o' yer home's belongings. They're hand crafted to hold anything yeh'd otherwise throw on your lawn or in yer home. Fir the strangest reason, and Garik ain't explained this yet, they don't seem to hold things you wouldn't put in your house or lawn.' The Barbarian shrugs confusedly.'